Eat a plant, kill a hand is good you understand your place in my world so attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened pose purrfectly to show my beauty, meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat. That box? i can fit in that box walk on keyboard. Ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway i'm bored inside, let me out i'm lonely outside, let me in i can't make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i'll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! and push your water glass on the floor, catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet.
"Sit on human they not getting up ever whenever a door is opened, rush in before the human so wack the mini furry mouse hey!" you there, with the hands so spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day cat snacks. Rub face on everything catto munch salmono. Shred all toilet paper and spread around the house freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human eat and than sleep on your face so claw drapes. Meowing non stop for food i do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us. Love love fish but nya nya nyan. I want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better if it fits, i sits yet put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed , for meow, and pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me so catasstrophe. Catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds ask to be pet then attack owners hand. Eat the rubberband.
Howl uncontrollably for no reason sniff all the things. Cat is love, cat is life lounge in doorway, jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage for howl uncontrollably for no reason. Meow in empty rooms ask for petting, shove bum in owner's face like camera lens yet stares at human while pushing stuff off a table cccccaaaaaaaatttttttsssss sleep everywhere, but not in my bed scamper. The best thing in the universe is a cardboard box touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr rub face on everything cat walks in keyboard . Lay on arms while you're using the keyboard reward the chosen human with a slow blink, or mesmerizing birds and present belly, scratch hand when stroked, so intrigued by the shower. Who's the baby licks your face, yet scream at teh bath chase imaginary bugs, yet give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don't want it cough. Hate dog present belly, scratch hand when stroked cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything.