Desert

He could see the red-gold shape of the Marwari mare at the edge of the shore, her outline unbroken from across the empty stretch of sand that surrounded the Desert, except for a few blades of rough beach grass at her hooves. Romulus watched her, his blue eyes tracing the lines of her belly, heavy with child. My child, he thought, the unfamiliar feelings that accompanied that notion twisting inside him, confusing but not entirely unpleasant. Our child.

For a time he kept his distance, letting the sun rise beyond Dhaniyā, setting her coat afire with the morning colors that he saw in her even in shadow. He felt guilt nip at him, mixed with the fear that had seemed to put distance between them. He could not tell what he was afraid of — hurting her, probably, but also of hurting himself. He had never been close to someone before.

Romulus knew it was selfish. He had not intended to bring her here only to leave her alone. He had not abandoned her by any means; he had hardly left her side. But once almost as soon as they had pulled free of the waves at the Desert’s edge, he had found it… difficult to touch her. As though she might shatter if he was too close, or change her mind about him and leave. As though he might infect her, somehow, with the torment that he quietly carried.

He was not sure when he realized he was being stupid. Maybe it was just now, watching the woman he loved stare out at the sea, her sides shuddering slightly with tears, or maybe he had always known, and had just let himself be stupid because he was afraid. But he knew it could not go on. If she was to leave him, no amount of distancing himself was going to make it hurt any less — it would only push her away.

Somehow, he made himself move forward. Knowing she was crying caused his heart to crack, and the hurt he knew she felt was enough to overcome the irrational fears he still held onto, and he went to her. Guilt would do him just as much good as fear, so he shoved them down together, pushing them far away as he pressed his muzzle gently into her hip. He hadn’t made a sound to announce himself, but the morning was quiet, and he hoped she had heard his hooves pressing into the hard-packed earth. He didn’t want to startle her.

“Dhani?” he said quietly, moving around to her side, and pressing his face into the curve of her neck, allowing her dark hair to spill over his head.