Sonorae had come to understand that Rougaru, to many, was a far fiercer creature than the one she normally faced. She saw how others walked away from his conversations and had listened to the way that he and the rest of the herd had easily vowed retribution for his daughter's loss, but Sonorae had done little to evoke that sort of fierceness from him. In truth, his inner wolf would probably be dismayed at how soft she truly considered him to be. For her, even on his grumpiest days when his lips never lifted from a permanent scowl, he was still a safe harbor in which she felt blessed to be able to anchor.

She frowns as he takes her gentle attempts to exonerate him as if they were accusations, but does not interject her own statements. Sonorae would not presume to know what other things weigh on his mind, nor to speak over whatever it was that troubled him. All that she knew was that she did not blame him for her own solitude, given that Paradise was filled with any number of individuals she could have sought out for company if she had gotten lonely.

As if her gentle probing had opened a pandora's box filled to the brim with the weight that he carried, Rougaru stiffened and then grew sober beside her. Determined to be strong for him, she did not shy away from his gaze as he began to speak again, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant. In the broken mosaic of his words, she found absolution and she favored him with a smile that faded as she pressed her muzzle against him again. She had never doubted his affection for her, and yet having solid affirmation made her heart warm all over again.

Despite this, she held no disillusion as to her place in Paradise. She would never be as fierce as Monster, nor as beautiful as Vanya, at least not now. She wondered, sometimes, who she had been before she washed ashore. Those memories had never returned, but the gaping hole where they should have been had been gradually filled with memories of her own. She did not remember her own childhood, but she had Faelyn's and Roux's to fill in the gaps. And the affection she held for Rougaru seemed to be proof that she had not been loved before that day. In the end, Sonorae was happy just to be a part of this herd. To belong somewhere, and with someone.

I worry, he begins and her lips lift into a sad smile. She knew that he worried because she knew that he cared. As he reached for her, she did the same, stretching to groom along his shoulders gently as he poured out some of the poison that kept him awake at night.

Sonorae did not remember Zjeena, but the hole her absence left had affected the herd ever since Sonorae had joined their number. From what she had gathered through idle gossip, Zjeena had been the queen that came before Vanya and had been well-loved by both Rougaru and the herd, despite the hardships she had weathered. Monster, however, Sonorae remembered and thought of fondly. She knew that the tobiano mare had a fearsome reputation for her temper, but Rae had never found herself on the receiving end of her ire. Not even when she had nearly abandoned Faelyn after her birth.

The freckled mare had thus far chosen to believe that she was simply absent on some mission on Rougaru's behalf, or visiting friends and family abroad... but Rougaru's confession made her heart ache for all of them, but especially for him.

She made space for him to let it out, working her teeth in little, comforting circles over his shoulders. She couldn't imagine what it was like to be a leader of an entire herd, and knew that she will be ill-fitted for such a role. As such, she had little to offer in the way of advice or appeasement, but she thought that she could maybe at least help lessen the stress for a little while.

Sonorae pulled away only when he apologized, craned her head over his back, and lifted her brown gaze back to his. "Don't be sorry." She murmured softly, allowing another smile to touch her lips as she stretched to press her lips against his spine in gentle benediction. "I asked."

She lapsed back into silence for a moment, carefully considering what words that she offered next. "I think," she began softly, her eyes searching his, "the fact that you worry for us so much is what makes you such a good leader, my love." It was the first time she had admitted how deeply her adoration for him ran, despite the fact that he frequently offered her such gentle affections. It felt right in the moment, to give it back to him, and she could not hide the smile that curled on her lips as the words left her mouth.

"You worry because you care, and I know that Monster knows that, wherever she is." And then more softly because she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was him. She did not love Monster the way that Zjeena and Rougaru did, but the fierce tobiano mare had been the only reason she'd been able to keep herself together after the incident, and the only reason Faelyn had been able to thrive. Sonorae had nothing against Vanya, but Monster would forever be the mare she considered Queen when she thought of home. "She'll come back to us."

And then, because she wanted to keep him talking, so that she could selfishly prolong this moment, she turned back to skim her lips across the broad muscles of his back. "How did you meet her?"