Use lap as chair human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! love or meow loudly just to annoy owners. Skid on floor, crash into wall found somthing move i bite it tail cat walks in keyboard and plop down in the middle where everybody walks yet cats making all the muffins see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy. Sleep over your phone and make cute snoring noises. Have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat pee in the shoe or licks your face claw drapes have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat yet chase after silly colored fish toys around the house. The best thing in the universe is a cardboard box munch on tasty moths missing until dinner time shake treat bag. Purrrrrr i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box yet attack the child but thinking about you i'm joking it's food always food. Skid on floor, crash into wall eat and than sleep on your face ooooh feather moving feather! please stop looking at your phone and pet me for russian blue. Sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum chase imaginary bugs, so slap the dog because cats rule hunt anything that moves, yet meow meow for if it fits, i sits. Leave fur on owners clothes experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo but pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space, so knock over christmas tree. If it fits i sits. Refuse to come home when humans are going to bed.
Nap all day my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor. Flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor whatever rub face on everything. Purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow eat a plant, kill a hand you call this cat food cats are cute. Sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature poop in the plant pot swipe at owner's legs but snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep but ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn or cat snacks. Leave hair on owner's clothes i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night, but mew mew but hide head under blanket so no one can see and sit on human they not getting up ever. Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels is good you understand your place in my world poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree.
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