The sound that welled up from her chest was filled with agony, muffled only by the way she tucked her muzzle down between her forelegs, pressing her forehead to the sand. It didn't make any sense, and yet, in a sick sort of way, it made every bit of sense.

He had already chosen to leave her behind once... why was the second time such a surprise? He had made his choice, and it was long past time that she realized that he had not chosen her. How vain of her to think that she meant something to him of all creatures. She had witnessed his power and strength firsthand, had lived among the delicate and fierce gems he filled Paradise with. How dare she assume that he would come back for her? She had nothing to offer him save her love, and what use was love when it was unreciprocated? He needed more. Compared to a meek, mousy mare like herself, who wouldn't choose Shiloh?

The sick sort of logic of it did not dampen the pain of this loss, and she was helpless against the tidal wave of tears. She couldn't stop them, not even when she eventually became aware of Temblor's quiet presence at his side. She felt disgusted with herself, as she felt both Rougaru and Temblor must be disgusted with her. She could not understand why Rougaru could no longer look past her flaws, but she accepted his inability to continue doing so as truth, given how plainly it had been proven today. Temblor, however, she had tried to warn. She had told him of her flaws, and had proven them (although that had been less intentional and more a consequence of her shortcomings) more than once. He had no more reason to want her than Rougaru did.

For him to still be here pretending, as Rougaru must have been pretending, was insulting. As though - on top of her shyness and her fears - the grey stallion believed her to be too stupid to realize that he would do the same thing to her in the end. He too, would leave her. Just like her daughters.

She wanted to rage at him, to make him pay for his assumed callousness, but even in her agony, Rae was not a creature meant for violence and her shame was louder than her anger. Instead of fighting, she collapsed further, shifting her weight in the sand so that she could crane her face away from him, hiding the tears on her cheeks.

"It's fine," she said, somehow without her voice cracking. What exactly she was calling fine was yet to be determined, as it was fairly obvious that she was not at all fine. The urge to slip into the comfort of delusion was strong; it would be so easy to convince herself that he just hadn't seen her, that he didn't know. That if he had, it would not have been Shiloh leaving Paradise, but Sonorae.

But she couldn't lie to herself.

Rougaru was not a man that made mistakes, in her experience. He knew what he wanted and he took it.

It just hadn't been her.

Her muzzle drooped until it pressed into the damp sand beneath her chin, and she tried to find the confidence to put into her voice that would convince Temblor she was somehow telling the truth. "I'm fine," she whispered.