i'm stuck somewhere between mourning and dancing - " />
The Lost Islands
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i'm stuck somewhere between mourning and dancing

The mare slowly emerged from the density of the higher forest out onto the more open foothills, the brush yielding before her. Cresting the hill, she slowed and stopped. Her seafoam eyes were only barely green in the bright, shining light of the late morning. Sinaet let her pale gaze wander down into the foothills -- her son's domain -- and out into the wider valley beyond. Shapes, which moved from time to time, dotted the landscape below: the other residents. Dark ears prick forward slightly, and her pale lips pursed in a generally unreadable expression. The memories of the last two years filled her mind's eye as Sinaet remained solitary on the open, wind-tossed hill.

It hadn't been unusual for her to go long periods of time without seeing Rougaru; she had known that. When she thought of that night beneath the full moon and her prayer against the foreboding gathering in her desert home, it lent a chill to her blood that pooled into a chasm in her heart. The silver-haired stallion had known something was about to happen. Sinaet had heard it in his voice and seen it in his eyes as the bay male warned her. Rougaru had never given a straight answer as to what the coming danger was, but, a season later, she had found his shamble of a body and the creature of a mare who had not left it. The mare shuddered at the memory, tossing her head away from it, before heading down and away into the hills from the gathered trees.

Sinaet had driven them into the wilds of the Desert until Solomon came. When the scent of him came on the wind, the same scent that had lingered on the corpse of her fallen mate, the dun mare had not hesitated to drive herself and her then three seasons-old daughter into the further wilds of Salem. Though her hope for Canis to come home had faded, the mare had been determined to find him on the other islands. There was no real hope in her to find the young stallion and have him reclaim their home. Canis had been born and bred in the Desert, but it had not earned his heart. That boy was always looking out across the water.

The bay mare finally came to a stop near the bottom of the foothills, looking east across the valley once more. There were traces of others here, other horses she had not met. Her ears flicked once as the mare exhaled deeply. In the last year since they'd left Salem, she and Hemming had spent it wandering north and across the other islands searching for Canis. Her son reportedly had used the last year to establish himself within the land of an older half-brother, Fell. Sinaet wasn't sure if she had met the black stallion when she'd arrived before Canis was born. Rougaru had had many children after all.

Sinaet wondered absently as she lowered her head to lip at the tender grass shoots at her hooves. Canis was a father now, which was a strange, yet pleasing thought to her. She'd gotten to see him interact with the few mares that had chosen him and the daughters that were his. It gladdened the older mare to see her son finally more confident in his own skin and abilities. To see him settle down in his own right was rewarding in a way. However, it hurt Sinaet in a way she wouldn't voice to see the obvious love and affection there between he and his mares. She and Rougaru hadn't had a deep bond, but the affection had been there in the space between them. How often had she been lonely for him and not called? Now, she never could again.

The ache that cooled in her heart since recently coming to the Bay flared. The mare's seafoam eyes shone with the tears she had never gotten to shed on behalf of the dead stallion. Raising and shaking her head hard, Sinaet looked balefully in a random direction. The mare stood in the quiet, not knowing where she could turn to escape that grief. She was so many miles away from the Desert where Rougaru's bones rested. Yet it felt like a piece of her was still there: caught between the memory of their stolen moments together and the sight of his decay that had changed everything.


Sinaet
mare -- bay dun splash -- rhinelander x warmblood -- mother of Canis & Hemming





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