Re(1): ubiquity
IP: 92.13.115.117

Dear Can't Hang Dave

I'm afraid that it is my duty to inform you that Mr. Rainford now charges commission everytime someone of his acquaintance chooses to drop that fact into any conversation they may have with whomsoever at wherever. He is currently charging 20 a word plus VAT.

Consequently, we have calculated that you owe him for 16 words x 20 + VAT (at the current rate of 20%) so he will expect a cheque from you for 384 addressed to:

"Dave Rainford Shameless Namedroppers Remuneration Fund" c/o 'Tremendous Knowledge Enterprises' PO Box 666.

Alternatively, you can drop it off in cash provided it is wrapped in a brown paper bag and placed behind the cistern of the gent's loo at the Albert Club, West Didsbury.

Please expedite this within the next 10 days or you will find that your name may not quite live up to its boast after all!

Thank you for your cooperation

Yours Sincerely

Mr. Rainford's Agent



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