I had felt a sudden feeling come over me. I cannot explain it so well. I was staring with my one good eye, my one eyes of gold into small world that lingered in the grass. Usually I would stare off, my mind was wander deeper into itself until I was lost within. It was my life, my life of rejection, my life that makes no sense, has no reason, has no purpose, and yet for the first time I am being pulled. A sensation that I cannot and will not ever forgot...for little did I know at the time what had happened. I am normally not pulled to anything or anyone. I am always hopelessly lost, a soul so cold and without purpose. I wander in the shadows where my mind is allowed to bleed into it, hoping to become one with the nothingness of the forest. I imagine what it is like to be a tree, a tree so still and moving so slowly, one so stuck as a parasite of the earth. I try to blank my mind out how a tree would be. I try but I am still plagued with being a wolf. A wolf who is now feeling like someone grabbed my heart with their fangs and ripped it out. It was a painful pull. I was losing myself and I knew this. What was it? Who was this that just took my very soul, if anyone?

I lift my head of shadow and silver, my young form sitting amongst the tall dead grass of winter. I feel the pull in a certain direction as the wind swirls about my long and slender form. I am built for speed, speed that has yet to ever come into use. It sure as hell didn't help me when Caligula mangled my face and neck. Luckily she got my bad eye, otherwise I would be blind. Luckily. I could never return to Iromar because of my demon sister. She is the reason my face, apparently once handsome though I cared not myself, is now for sure an ugly thing. It is scarred, the scabs just now starting to fall off. Chunks of myself were forever gone from my neck and my fur would never grow back there. I was once a thing of masculine beauty, but I am sure I fit how I truly am now. Azrael did his best to save my injuries, the first one aside from my father to ever care for me in any sort of way. Yet, Azrael seemed to do more than even my father, Azrael a stranger at the time, a stranger who stole me away from Iromar. He may very well be an angel who took a lost soul from hell. It is because of him I am healed, and he said he would teach me the finer points of language...which I still severely lack. I do not know what word to put to the pull that made my head turn. The turn that made my form lift up.

I felt like I was being dragged. I felt like there was a string violently pulling where my heart once was. The beat of my heart felt so far away from me. My silver paws quickened. I am moving faster than I normally do and I cannot control it. Something had taken control of me and I had no idea what it was. Nothing ever gave me the will to do anything. I do not know what it is called now but I would later learn that it is called being depressed. I had been severely depressed to a crippling point my whole childhood, and nobody gave a damn.

I find this pull irritating and fascinating all at the same time. It was so foreign, having my paws move not in an aimless matter but with purpose this time. I still didn't know why. I was a shadow of a creature whose soul was being captured and I didn't even know it. A willow came into view. A willow with leaves that fell like drapery and danced so gently, so slightly at the small breeze. I stop in my tracks to gaze at it, I know the pull is coming from there. From a point at the base of the tree. Was it this willow, this tree that tugged me like a leashed puppy trying to run from its owner? It was so odd, so strange, that a tree would so such a thing. My silver legs, long like my mothers pushed forward, edging close to the tree with a wonder that has never crossed my facial features before.

I was close now, letting the leaves of the willow bat against my body. Close to the tree that had pulled me here. I was so fixated on this crazy feeling. My nose hits the ground as I sniff at the base, and the aroma of a female fills my nostrils. I feel...more of a tug...from this scent. I pause and feel the hairs on my spine tingle. She was right around this tree, wasn't she? The one who left this scent...it was this scent that was pulling me. I feel so..strange. A scent has never done this before, and it wasn't this tree that brought me here. Dare I peek around amongst the curtain of leaves? I cannot not do it. I must. Why must I? It is not normal, it is completely foreign, but I must. Slowly my paws walk, around the right side of the tree. Each step taken so carefully, so quietly. My left eye, my good one of a stunning gold slowly peeked around the trunk. I see her. I see her sitting there. I feel all the hairs on my body tense. I feel my nerves tingle. I feel my heart beat but it isn't within me. She is the one who ripped it away from me. I freeze in mid step, my face stuck, my body stuck, as I stare at her for a moment.

What the hell was I doing? Staring at a random girl? What the hell just happened? I felt my blood pump through my veins again and I feel a panic come through me. I stumble back to the other side of the tree, tail falling between my legs as I crouch down. Maybe she didn't see me. Maybe I was quiet enough. I stand and feel embarassed and yet I am still being pulled...to her. My breathing has incrased in rate as I stand not really knowing what to do...Yeah. I don't know what to do. I don't know what is going on. I just need a moment to figure it out...
Two Years - Loved by None - Following Everchime