Say no to Brussels...and that includes the sprouts!

"That nice Mr Farage (is that a Brit name by the way?)"

I resent that. I'll have you know I'm as British as the Queen. No dodgy immigrant types in OUR backgrounds, matey!

As for that White Swan, my local Ladybarn rep informed me a while ago that he suspected it was a hotbed of illegal cheap foreign labour. So I went in to investigate for myself and, I tell you, I couldn't understand a word the landlord said to me or what they were talking about on the TV. He shouted at me when I asked for a G & T and the beer tasted very strange indeed. Now make of that what you will!

As for Vim and Viga, my rep informed that they were the two Polish plumbers hired by the landlord to do oddjobs around the place. One of them was cleaning out the lavs. Apparently, Viga disappeared some years ago while assigned to this duty. Nobody knew what had happened to him. Eventually someone complained to the landlord about a nasty smell coming from one of the cubicles in the gents but he just scribbled an 'Out of Order' note and stuck it on the door.

I don't know how much has changed since I last went in so I'll be reserving my judgement until I can get a chance to pop in again. In the meantime, please keep voting UKIP to ensure a safer, fairer and whiter Britain, especially in Ladybarn!

Yours Truly



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