IP: 104.34.33.123
Posted on October 25, 2014 at 08:54:18 AM by Reich
| Reich
If love is what you need A soldier I will be |
| This was it for me. If this was what heart ache and rejection felt like, I don't want the pain to come from someone else. When I first locked eyes with her, I knew there was something special about my angel Everlyse, something that no other female would ever compare to. She would be my one and only love, my heart was set on her and her alone. I would rather die alone, then spend an eternity with another that was not Everlyse. I could watch her from heaven, because I would always watch her and protect her. I was used to being alone anyway...so it really shouldn't be a problem if I died alone as well. I would at least die happy knowing that Everlyse was happy; and thats all I want, her happiness.
In those first moments, we are frozen. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, but then it remembers the red demon she has chosen and not it and it continues its familiar ache. She is so close to me, but she has never been so far away, so out of reach. Our touch, I am so gentle because I fear that she will simply fade away before me, a cruel trick of my eyes. But she is real and her touch is enough to dull the pain, if only temporarily. I want to savor it, this moment alone, because who knows if it will be our last. I breathe in her sweet, intoxicating scent, like it is my last breathe on this earth. No flower on earth can compare to her scent, the scent that haunts me in Asteraia, that clings to my own pelt. I break the moment, because I have to or I will loose myself. Her whine shatters what ever remains of my broken heart, and for the first time, I feel the hot sting of tears threaten at my split gaze. I stare at her, with so much love and sadness, unlike the day I first met her. The joy in my eyes has faded, but the love remains just the same. I can see it in her eyes, when I mouth her name, the look of deflation. She tries to speak, but the words seem to catch in her throat, like she can't even force them out. 'Forgive me' she mouths. She leans into me, and I willingly catch her. I see the tear drop fall as she kisses my muzzle and I am quick to gently brush it away, returning a soft kiss upon her cheek. I look at her with a sad smile and shake my head. 'Please don't' I mouth slowly, because if she starts crying, I know I will follow. She suddenly moves around me, coming along my side and then resting her head upon my chest. Her ears are so close to my heart, I wonder if she can hear its slow breaking? I hope not, because I do not want her to feel pain or guilt over me. I wrap my neck over her in a wolf life embrace, never wanting to let her go. "Forgive me.."she says, and I can hear the tears in her voice even without seeing them. I struggle to keep mine at bay as they want to be with hers, to join them in the saddest of dances. I gently use my nose to lift her muzzle, so she can see my face and my silent words. 'There is nothing to apologize for,' I mouth, so slowly and with a sad smile to reassure her. There was nothing she could do that I would not forgive her for, she could rip my heart from my chest and I would still forgive her. But there was nothing to forgive her for right now, she had done what she wanted and I accepted that. No matter how much it hurt, I would always accept that maybe Ifrit was just better for her in ways I didn't understand. I just stare so deeply into her eyes, watching those tears fall down. And what I say next is my breaking point. 'I will always love you Everlyse........No matter what,' I mouth slowly, so she got every single word. Maybe she didn't love me back, but that would never change how I felt for her; neither heaven nor hell could sway my feelings, certainly not Ifrit. For the first time from what I can remember of my life, I feel the unfamiliar sensation of tears drip down my cheek. It was....different, and I had no idea how to stop now that i'd started. A promise...yes, I would always love her. 
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Replies:
- show me where forever dies - By EVERLYSE November 11, 2014 at 02:07:26 AM
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