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This new bond is a feeling so confusing and overwhelming to me. Everything she feels, I feel just as intensely. She can feel my rejection and when she flinches, it only worsens my own nerves. Then I feel bad for making her feel bad and it only gets worse from there. I can tell the moment she averts her eyes that she feels bad for not wanting to reach out to me. I know it must be hard to resist the urge because I'm still completely tense, every muscle in my body quivering with the urge to go to her, just a touch. But I know it won't happen and it hurts really bad. And when she tells me who she is, I cannot stop the whimper and I feel so bad afterward because I can tell it's hurting her to know she's hurting me. At her sudden question, I pull back as if slapped, my eyes widening as my tail lashes at my legs, stunned at the suddenness of her reaction and the cuttin edge of her voice. Does everything I say upset her? If so, what is the blessing of this bond? "You deserve nothing less, Shiloh. No one should find an ill word to say against you. You are worthy of happiness, of goodness, of nice things and nice words." I cringe automatically, as if already waiting for her next barrage of anger. Even as she growls at me, I listen to her words and they confuse me even more. She looks so angry but I can tell she's trying to comfort me now. I part my lips to respond but by then she's already turning to leave. I clench my jaw, trying to stop another whimper from following her even as she pauses. My ears strain forward again and this time her words make me feel a bit lighter. And then she's gone, my name on her lips a song I will remember for the rest of my life. Tristan.male.8 years old.son of |