r i s s a & b e t t i e;

It was cold, and even Bettie's thick fur couldn't warm her. The ash cloud had lifted, fortunately, and the golden droplets of sunshine clung to the window pane, warming the iced heart of the castle, ever so slightly. The sunshine nor Bettie could fill the hole in her heart which had developed; the need to be loved, wanted. She doubted if Adonis or Siobhan cared for her; if her siblings -the triplets- missed her at all. She had not visited them. They had brushed her aside, like dust off an old carpet. The amusement and humour had drained from her once sunny face, replaced with a sallow-cheeked bleakness. Even her baby had deserted her. No-one cared. No-one could fill the gaping chasm.

She rose from her bed, feet hitting the cold flagstones, reaching for her clothes; the only clothes she had (which had long ago fallen into disrepair), a tattered old dress with a large hole over the knee, a cloak which barely reached her knees. Both were dim shades of mud; and the wind blew right through it. She didn't want pity. She didn't want anything. She wanted death to descend, to steal the skeleton from her very body, leaving a stretched skin behind. Picking up the knife slightly, she turned the blade over before replacing it on her dresser. Not today. Bettie swung over to her, long arms gripping the handle. Grimly, he opened the window and flung it far, far out to sea. The girl sat emotionless on the bed, hands folded neatly on her lap. No words passed between them. Bettie had given up long ago, and protecting Rissa from harm was a selfish action - if she died, he would too.

The gorilla was the only thing stopping her, blocking her with wiry black fur and an unintelligable look in his deep red-brown eyes. She sank into invisibility, the clothes hovering above the crumpled bedcover. The visibility soon came back. She was powerless; powerless.

Standing, walking, steadying herself on every object her hands ran over. She did not let tears fall, she had become accustomed to the emotional darkness. The corridor was empty, but she could see a couple of people approaching, their shadows being cast on the wall from a window around the corner. They were laughing and talking; and Rissa felt vile jealousy rise in her chest. Turning the other way, she ran, the gorilla following calmly. The fourth curse was bandying around; and the gorilla refused to let the girl out of his sight.

She ran straight into a man, no more than a boy, who she recognised immediatley. She jumped back, surprised, mumbled a small apology. This was the guy with whom she had lost her virginity; and he had given her the baby. Tears rush to her eyes but she refuses to let them fall. They stay, glittering on her eyelashes like little diamonds. "I hate you," she snarled at him, rising to her full (not very tall) height. To her, it was all his fault; he was the catalyst and she hated them. She didn't notice the sabre tooth tiger beside him and she pummelled him with small fists. She barely had any strength or energy at all to fight him. Eventually, her hands fell limp to her side and still the rage has not left her dark eyes.

l e t t h e m w a l k m i l e s ; ;