With heavy steps and a completely shattered heart, my black body is carried by my four legs. The same huge old scar that runs from my right shoulder to reach nearly the end of my paw, protested. So long ago this scar had been drawn in my right leg to show the loyalty I had for my pack, but also the betrayal of my own pack. Left ear, torn by a cannibal for killing her adopted son’s mother. Few scars, hidden under the dark coat through my sides. I carry many scars, some of them still affect me. But the scars that hurts the most, are not visible to any eye. The heart. Ruvindra had found me when I gave up everything, she made me continue, she helped me and I remained loyal to her. We joined Trenus and I worked hard to have my name back. I have been banished from that pack and the first scar was made deep in my heart. I had found my imprint, but I didn’t want her to be my imprint. For she was my mate’s daughter and I considered her my own daughter too. I told Ruvindra about it and she was angry at me, the second scar was made even deeper in my heart. I think even until today, she is still angry at me. But it had never been my choice. I tried to control that feeling, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t do anything at all. When she told me, about our children, my tears weren’t sad anymore. I couldn’t stop wagging my tail, smiling and even barking happily, I was like a pup being told to play. I had always wanted to be a father, to teach my own son or daughter how to hunt and see him grow strong.
Together, Ruvindra and I caught Malum and he had been banished from his pack. The justice had been done. Heyel promised my name back and those scars seemed to heal. I was getting ready to say the Warrior’s Claim again in front of Ruvindra and Heyel, my fur was all ruffled and I just needed to clean my fur for it was a very important moment for me. When the chaos started, wolves running everywhere. “Run” they shouted. I ran the opposite way, going to Trenus, I wasn’t far from the pack. When I arrived, the pack was empty. I looked everywhere, but I couldn’t find Ruvindra or any pups. I thought Ruvindra made it with our children. I ran as fast as I could. Like the others, I made it out of Moladion. Only to look back and see a very bright rock falling. The sky was stained black with smoke. Ashes fell from the sky, I could only watch as my world was literally destroyed before my eyes, the third scar was made in my heart. I looked for Ruvindra everywhere and when I found her… I found out that only one of our four children survived. The forth scar was made so deep in my heart that not only a whimper escaped my mouth, but from deep within me, a howl left my chest, no strength was left in my legs and I collapsed to the ground. For the first time in years, tears rolled down my muzzle. For hours I cried, and for long nights. After that day, no words ever left my mouth again. I couldn’t speak anything to anyone at all. Two years of silence it had been. Even my imprint had been broken by the deep sadness. I still love Celesdue, but that feeling is not there anymore. My love for Ruvindra is even stronger and for my only child, Vidar. My love for Tesseract, for Caligula… is also much stronger. I consider them my own, I just hope someday, they allow me to call them such.
But I did my whole best to be with Vidar the whole time, only going out to hunt for him and Ruvindra. I would always try to show my affection for him, being with him, trying to teach him new things and giving a lick on the forehead before I left to hunt. I wanted him to see how much... How deeply I love him. He... Ruvindra, the children... they were the only ones who could really make me forget the past... for some time. I love them and that's all I want them to know. I tried my best to speak, but nothing comes out. It seemed as if I lost my voice. I swear I tried... I did my best.
My paws carried my body slowly. Nothing of what I knew was left, not a single tree. Only a huge hole. Part of me refuses to live in this place again. I didn’t call Ruvindra to come with me because I didn’t want her to see how sad I am. I tried to hide my sadness. I know it would be hard for me to come back here. The hole is not only in the lands, it is in my heart as well. As I stop beside a tree and observe the strange landscape, my heart seems to be crushed constantly. Slowly, I lower to sit down. Colorful trees, flowers, grass. Birds flying around. Nothing can be compared to what we had before. My eyes close, more tears roll down my muzzle and a soft whimper is heard. I barely have enough strength to hold myself sitting. Right paw shaking a bit, nearly failing.
My sons… Didn’t even have a chance to live. I tried, so hard… To find them, but no matter where I looked, I never found them.
10 years old | Forever Ruvindra’s lover
Tear me to pieces ;Don't get caught in my schemes
VAGUE
Whisper words into your ears ;Let me see you hit the ground |