IP: 138.217.155.28
Posted on February 3, 2013 at 00:54:13 AM by amorak
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Part of him wished he could be more like her; she seemed so... okay with it all. Then again, he did not know her true story - or where she had been for the last two years. Many seemed to have been able to heal over the years along side their families, mates and companions - Amorak hadn't had that. He'd just had hope to grasp onto and a desperate determination that pushed him onward. It was enviable to imagine that others had gotten out with their mates and children in tow but... he'd failed in that regard. Brooke, Tenshi and Malina had all gone forward before him (he'd been a fool to think he could have saved more) and for that, he had paid dearly. For two years he could only imagine their faces and go on gut instinct - they were alive. They had to be for he imagined that if Brooke had left the world, he would have simply fallen to the ground and never gotten back up. But no, he was able to move forward because she had to be somewhere out there. He'd searched for two years - part of him felt guilt for stopping at that moment, and yet... he needed a break.
Furthermore, the new company was nice. He'd never truly had a friend before, at least not one that wasn't his Alpha or his family. Perhaps there was still hope for him - maybe he'd finally be able to call somebody a friend. He'd have somebody to lean on and have somebody to lean on him when they needed to. It was a long shot but it was worth it, right? The sole reason that Engima had not been blunt and chased him off, teeth bared, was enough to give him hope. "You're a wise wolf, you know that right, Enigma?" he blinked, head tilted slightly. Her words had pulled him away from his thoughts and well, they were the most logical things he had heard for some time - even more logical than half his thoughts had been. He chuckled lightly, swinging his head side to side before continuing, still a little surprised by how hard the words had hit him. "I think with all the loss around us, we forget there's still a future. Even after a forest fire - the forest always comes back, and usually stronger at that, right? I can see how you got all the way to Beta, though. Your head's on straight - it's enviable, you know?" He flashed her a sheepish grin, his tail waving a little awkwardly for a moment. It was refreshing to meet somebody else who didn't just dwell on, well, the past - he'd been guilty of it for most of his life. He'd always tried to be something great but perhaps it had been something like that he'd been missing; a straight head and strong shoulders to carry the weight of it all. With an analyzing eye, he furrowed his brows in thought as he watched her - half caught up in his own thoughts, half caught up in hers. He had to admit - he had been a little hesitant of Judila wolves for a long time but now, it didn't seem so relevant. He had not known Arsenic's rule - it seemed Judila remained quite quiet during such times, but the moment Jaidah took rule... well, things changed. It became turbulent to say the least; then one day, an elder took the throne. Abraxus, they called him - he desecrated Moladion. They were to steal, fight and bathe in blood shed all while the other packs tried their hardest to come to peace. But change was upon them and a younger male, Cobryn, took the reins just before the disaster. He had been of interest to Heyel, that Amorak understood, but for what reasons made the most sense - he had taken Jaidah as a mate and yet, he did not really seem like Jaidah-mate material (Amorak had chuffed at that.) With that in mind, he guessed Enigma had ruled as Beta beneath Cobryn; he imagined that would have been a fresh of breath air considering Judila's history. Still, he tried to keep those prejudices aside - even under Heyel's rule, he had tried. Of course, he was more inclined to simply despise the beast Tobias that crept along the river's shadows; the bastard had given him a reminder of that. Three grey scars ran down his muzzle and by his eye; minor one's laced the entirety of his muzzle where Tobias had raked his teeth and yet, at least Amorak had a good grip of his throat at some point. If only he had the chance to squeeze a little harder... He shivered slightly at the thought, wincing slightly before his ears flickered to Enigma once more. Seemed like she knew exactly when to speak - then again, Beta and all. It made sense. Again, his brow raised in surprise, his face splitting into a toothy grin as he contemplated for a moment. Her words meant more than she imagined. He'd always been loyal to Trenus but, as she had said, there had always been masks up. Even the King and Queen had to wear a mask - even he did at times. Brooke had left one up too - his own mate - for she felt she needed to hide her past and the scars it had left. Had he worn a mask? It seemed impossible to tell. Perhaps the one he had worn most often was the one that hid just how exhausting pack life had been. Responsibility, duty... all of it seemed like so much at times. Another frown laced his features before he brushed it away, shrugging his shoulders lightly and lifting his gaze (that had fallen back to his paws) to hers. "It's hard to be yourself when there's so much expectation," he recalled with a stout nod, "That's why I sometimes think avoiding pack life is best. I mean, it's why I left my home land - to get away from it all. Maybe that's why I got a new start, huh? A real second chance - everybody got given one. Now we've just got to reach out and take it." He flashed a broad grin - hoping, half heartedly, that she was impressed by his momentary genius as he was. Actually, he wasn't so sure if he had a genius moment or if he was more tired than he imagine but either way - he felt smart. "But what about you? Have you found a new place to call home yet? Or any of your old companions from Judila?" he spoke again after a couple of moments had passed between them, head tilted and face finally alight with a real smile - light and subtle but finally there.  |
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