IP: 12.231.36.2
Posted on March 26, 2013 at 05:00:45 PM by Enigma
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I still hope for repairs in the future. Cobryn cannot change how he is, what he stands for. Family means everything to him. Covet stayed around for a while but now I'm not so sure Cobryn would like to see what he's becoming. I can't keep the two apart if Covet wants to see him, which I hope for anyway, but I would hate to see the defeated look in Cobryn's eyes to know his son is slowly becoming the killer his mother is. Risk has become part of Spirane and I know the two have a bad history but I still hope in time the anger will subside. Jumaji has been raised by Jaidah but that doesn't mean he has to hate his father. Surely he will remember how it was back when he was younger. He should still know his father's love for him. I don't know what of his other son Mockingbird but hopefully he'll seek out his father at some point also. I have hope for the future. Cobryn will have more children in the future, children who will love him. It may not be with me, though some small part of me hopes he would choose me. I've never been one for kids but it's mostly because of my past in the tundra, the past where I had my first and only litter and they all died of the cold. I couldn't stop it and I couldn't help them, no matter how I tried. It made me feel like a failure as a mother and so I haven't had much contact with pups since. Cobryn would help me through it, I know he would but this winter is not the right time. He needs more time to heal and I'll give him all the time he needs. As a past casanova and romeo, I was kind of hoping the winter would put a pep in his step but he seems to withdraw even more with the cooler weather. It's like he fears love and what comes with it now. Not that I can blame him. Cobryn is quiet and can see the determination in his eyes, the will to get better. He wants to get better and I have a feeling its for me. I won't stop him from doing this for himself but I wouldn't wish him to change for anything. I give him time because if he needs to be weak right now, then by all means, he can be weak. I'll be strong for him. I want him to repair what has been broken slowly so he can come back the way he was before, or even better, so long as he's still true to himself. I want back the Cobryn I fell for, the Cobryn I was best friends with, the Cobryn I could let down my guard with, the only one I could take off my mask for. Cobryn stands his ground when Sulan approaches, though he does make a soft comforted sound when I touch his cheek. My heart leaps at the small sound of appreciation since they're so far and few between now a days. He dips his head to Sulan and speaks, my own ears flickering over to hear the familiar and deeply missed sound of his voice. I am surprised by his words, both declaring my possession of him and his love for me. He said it to me once before that day we both admitted it to ourselves, the day I thought I would hear nothing but rejection when I confessed the way I felt. I was surprised then as I am now because he barely says a word now a days, let alone anything having to do with feelings. My eyes, usually so cold and blank of expression, melt like ice and I have to look away for a moment as tears threaten to spill. When I look back up, my eyes are once more touched with hope and my smile is small but there, a token of my happiness to slowly be winning him back. Sulan dips his head back to Cobryn and waves his tail, his gaze observant. He smiles and nods to my response about joining, another hopeful gesture since I would think rejection wouldn't follow such a kind smile. Sulan starts explaining the missions of his pack then and I couldn't be happier. Peace for once. It's so different from the speech Abraxus gave when he took over Judila, all the talk of bloodshed and rivers running red. Worst speech ever in my opinion. This one beats that by a mile or more. I turn my head to look at Cobryn, eyes sparkling with love and devotion before I turn back to Sulan and nod. Your words speak of everything I stand for, Sulan. You have my word. |
Replies:
- i'm alive and now i'm burning - By COBRYN March 28, 2013 at 04:35:44 PM
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