Elric didn't seem to mind my touching. In fact, he came in and licked me as I did him. I must admit that I enjoyed that he licked me back, the normal coldness inside of me melting slowly. I don't feel much, no not at all but no one is really there to make me feel. I am a shell of a wolf, a spirit caught up in a body I don't belong in and I let it take me over. I can feel Elric's nervousness between us, it is like a calm electricity in the air. i do not feel such things. I have not felt nervous before, well I think I have when I was younger but not in any recent memory. I do not really relate to it but I can recognize it. It is why I pulled away and asked what I did.
But when I had decided to pull back Elric acted strange. He fell to his belly close to me, and tried to get me with his muzzle. I think he wants me to lay with him. I stare for a moment, looking down at the golden crowned boy with my hazed eyes. I tilted my head as he spoke, my expression wide but still looking somewhat blank and clueless. He...liked my touch? It was not something I had been told ever before. It made my silver tail wag, uncontrolled behind me. A strange thing crawled out of my throat, a whine of sorts. What was this noise and why couldn't I control it? My eyes flash over to his paws as they hit cold earth, and something overcomes me. I fall to the ground in a pounce, my left black leg landing on his shoulders and my right paw wrapping around his chest. He said I could touch him all I want, and I want. I lower the rest of my body to mix and mingle with the moon lit grass. I found myself in a strange embrace of sorts in my pounce that turned into a lay. I pushed my white face into his neck. He is mine. Yes, he is mine.
He says he wishes to know more about me. I do not know what I think of this. I am what I am in my mind, my body covered in long harsh feathers, bone protruding from various places, I take on the look of a deformed bird in my mind, and perhaps that is why I probably smell like the scent of rotting bird flesh, from my wonderful collection. No one knows of how I wish to be, how I see myself. I know that no one would understand, no one ever has and they always tell me I am wrong, that I am just a pup who hasn't learned. Elric, he is mine but he does not know me, as I do not think anyone could ever really know me. I need to know more about him. I am urged to look closely at his form but I am finding I want more than that. A strange thing for myself, very strange and I am not sure I like what kind of power he has over me. I am feeling like I am not in complete control anymore, like I always was before.
"Elric, what is there to know? Is it words you wish? You are to tell me about you so I can use words to tell you of me, I do not understand this so well," I say, in my childish yet female voice. Maybe he can explain it better. I am not a conversationalist. I am usually alone. My relationship with Jaidah is one that requires little words. So this, it may be strange.
Three Years - Loved by None - Protected by None |