I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING
There are things he knows he should not talk about, should not ask. This is one of those things. To know wouldn't do him any good. He realizes that even as he asks it. He knows that it could do more harm then good and yet there it is. The words had already been spoken and he does not move away to save himself from what the answer is. A bad idea, certainly. He's never good at curbing bad ideas when he is around her, and he need to accept that. It's not easy, though. He wants to throw it all out and feel nothing. He wants to tune Jaidah out and not think of the good moments that claw at him. He doesn't want to remember that they were happy for a time. That he'd very nearly had all he wanted. Again, fate had torn it away from him. Fate would always hound him this way. He could never catch a real break.

This meeting was another very clear and harsh example of that fact. Seeing Jaidah again, like this... hearing the words she had spoken? That alone was too much. Enough to hurt him over and over again. He had just gotten over the loss. Was doing so well at gaining a brighter outlook on a bleak sort of life. He had begun to feel happy again. And now? It was utterly ruined. He can feel it in his very bones and there's no stopping it now that it has already set in. He's doomed. He should have known better. Known that he could not catch a break, ever. That these things will forever and always follow him, and he will never truly rest. More then ever, Cobryn wishes that he had been left to die after being attacked. No, he wishes that he'd been killed then and there. Done with, over. Gone.

Instead, he'd had to suffer through it. Through the healing, the struggle to be more like himself again. And now this. Crawling out of that hole of his life only to be smacked down once more. To be sent, sprialling back to the depths in agony. This was agony. Being here, seeing how Jaidah had reacted to him being... just being. She had seemed surprised -- in the worst of ways -- by the fact Cobryn was still actually alive, real and solid. He wasn't sure how to feel on that, or if that changed.. anything. He doesn't want it to, but he thinks that somehow it does. He can't help how he feels, the way his mind works. It's always been so blurred around Jaidah. Cobryn wasn't really able to get a grip on himself, on reality, when he was near her. And it kept kicking him around each time. It was like he kept coming back for more...

He wasn't meaning to do it. He hadn't meant to stay when he'd caught sight of her. He had not meant to listen to her, to watch her. But there was this pull, the inability to walk away. He had frozen and he would pay for it. He would pay for everything, because that was the way fate wanted it. Fate was bound and determined to screw him over in any way that it could. And oh, it wasn't done yet. Not by a long shot. It was about to get messy, and there was nothing Cobryn could do. He was forever destined to do the wrong thing. To mess up. Always, to mess up. And he'd done that by not leaving when he had the chance. By the fact that he was still here now, half grounded and staring at Jaidah. By having asked the question that only brings him pain, that can only bring on more no matter how it is answered. There was no good answer. There never would be.

And there it is. The words have come and they do not help. It's more damning that he realized it would be worse to know, and having known it, not leaving before she could say anything. He's done this to himself, again. He's always doing this to himself. Always making the wrong move. Causing pain wherever he roams. He's well and truly cursed. It's killing him to be so, too. She was sorry, and Cobryn cannot say anything more to that. He feels cold and distant. Nothing makes sense as he stands there and lets it cloud his mind. He's wary, but he can barely think. Her growl causes his eyes to flicker. Something snaps, but it doesn't reach the surface. Not yet. Soon, but for now it lingers. He flinches when Jaidah speaks again, and those words are like a knife to his heart; twisting and turning and he chokes as if it's actually happening to him.

A gasp to try and regain his breath, and he's still trembling. Shaking. It's so hard to breathe and his mind is getting confused. Wires are being crossed, cut, damaged. Like something eletronic being tossed to the ground, picked back up and shaken. He twitches when Jaidah speaks again but there's something lost in his eyes. More words but Cobryn can't process it. He needs her to come out of this. He needs something more tangible. He needs reaction. He needs to shake her from this. And, as Cobryn is so prone to do... he does something extremely stupid. He removes the distance between them with slow, sure steps. Brazen, he is, in these moments. He steps over her, moves to push his jaws to her scruff and grab. And he tries to take her, then and there, just like that. An act that starts to destroy him from the inside out. Everything crashes and burns.

YOU'LL ONLY DIE A DREAM FORGOTTEN
ELEVEN | MALE | ENIGMA'S | IMPRINTLESS | GLORALLIAN