The first warning should have been the sign on the door. In black, bold letters on a bright yellow background, it read: ‘WARNING: HAZARDOUS CHEMICALS. DO NOT ENTER’.
The interior of the room looked like it had been ripped apart by a multi-millionaire who was so rich he didn’t need to worry about such expenses. Opposite the door, the mattress lay on the floor without its bedframe; the bedframe had been taken apart and reconstructed over the far corner of the room, creating a kind of den with an entrance hole just big enough for a child. Apparently Thoth had decided that books were more important than clothes, because he had also taken apart the chest of drawers and transformed it into a bookcase. A pile of clothes sat on the floor next to the makeshift wooden shelves, which groaned under the weight of the heavy academic tomes. His actual bookshelf had four large bird nests on the top shelf, and the bottom shelf was taken up with petri dishes containing mould. Under the book shelf, a rubbery green plant had been grown against the wall. The double window was open, allowing birds to fly in and out, and a tiny makeshift ladder resting against the windowsill indicated that other animals used this as a doorway too. The windowsill itself was mostly taken up by glass containers with different coloured soil inside, but crammed onto one side were also two modified bras. The underwire and straps had been removed, and the cups had been turned into small nests for tiny baby birds. In front of the window, Thoth’s wardrobe had been turned sideways to act doubly as a desk and den/cupboard. The floor was littered with more glass beakers containing various substances, mostly soil.
And that was just the inanimate objects; the room had been turned into verifiable zoo. Two small rabbits were sleeping together on the bed with a baby meerkat. Inside the rubber plant a chameleon was creeping slowly along the leaves, only visible because of its movement. Two of the nests on the bookshelf were full – one containing a blackbird and the other a scarlet macaw – and Atkiss’ glass tank gleamed from one corner of the room. A clean litter tray sat next to it. On the floor beside the bedframe-den were two large rat cages with the doors wide open, and a variety of rodents were running around inside and out. Next to the bed was an old tin bath that Thoth had obviously acquired from somewhere; it was filled with water and Morveren was happily splashing around in it.
Thoth himself was standing over the wardrobe-desk, on top of which were scattered several beakers containing brightly coloured liquids, a Bunsen burner, some stirring sticks and some paper and pens. One glass beaker containing a red liquid was bubbling ominously on a tripod over the burner. Thoth glanced around when Arthur came in, looking surprised (apparently, not many people came in here), although his face was half-obscured by a pair of plastic lab goggles. He recognised the king and responded by grabbing a spare pair of goggles from a hook on the wall and tossed them over to him.
“Can’t stop, mixture’s unbalanced,” he grunted in explanation, turning back to the Bunsen. “One sec – ”
The mixture started to whistle and steam. Thoth pulled it hastily off the tripod with a gloved hand, picked up a yellow liquid from the desk and carefully added a drop. The mixture fizzed for a second before exploding, showering the pair of them with orange liquid and glass shards. A sulphurous smell filled the room, causing Thoth to cough and forcing him to open the other window to try and ventilate. It cleared after a moment, and he was able to brush the glass off his arms and shoulders.
“Well, that didn’t work,” he pulled the goggles off his head and frowned thoughtfully at the table. “I wonder what would happen if I diluted it at stage three.”
Dread to think.
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