Maybe…I am too old for this, maybe I am going to finally have to accept that at seventeen years old I am no longer, well, seven and that maybe I do get tried faster, maybe my bones ache sometimes and the world just seems….less interesting then it used to. Then again, maybe that was simply due to Zen and Saintly, maybe tmy entire outlook on my existence these past few days has been affected by a sadness, a heavy, thick gloom I just cannot shake, maybe I’m tired because Zen cannot care for our pups, because I am trying to lead a group of assassins, be there for my older children, entertain my grandchildren, watch over Diveen and raise Neveah at the same time. I know already, have known perhaps, for some time that Saintly will not see the summer, he will never see his first birthday or his first snow- he will not argue with his sister or play at fight with his brothers. I know. Instinct is a powerful thing and yet, I suppose- so is love. How do you take the life of your own child? Yet how do you sit by and watch him die? Zen is too sick to answer these questions and I am entirely to….private to share my problems with any other. The pack does not need to know, when the time is right I will tell Isola the fate of her Brother and she may decide with whom she shares that knowledge. Yet….I am hardly so benevolent, so self-less. I do not wish to share him with the world, I don’t want it broadcasted across Diveen that my son is dying because, quite simply, I……I want these days, however few he has left to be so shared with me, with his Mother and Sister and no others who simply wish to pry.

Yet for all his suffering, Neveah suffers too. Zen has no energy and it would seem I have no time in between keeping my mate and son alive to spend even the barest moment with me newborn daughter and so indeed, today, having decided that perhaps the both of us could use a break from the blanket of darkness that lays so thickly over the rest of my little family- I carried my black and white daughter out and into the sun, away from the den and the dark, away from sickness- I carried her, like I always would, away from anything that brought her sadness, away from anything that might ever bring her harm to place her on the green grass of Diveen before the tiny girl damn near took off running, the violet of my gaze rolling in muted humour before I allowed myself to lay against my side, rolling onto my back, rubbing against the earth and exposing my underside to the glorious touch of the sun. I did however, angle my head back slightly to keep an eye on the cavorting child. Hmm, I had kept her inside too long, neglected perhaps, in the wake of her Mother and Brothers condition to truly cater for her needs. You’d think after, hell, how many is it now? Sixteen pups? That I’d be used to their energy, their exuberance and utter desire to be annoying- as always however I find myself slightly less inclined to be able to show any displeasure at her antics as I rolled back over, sitting up slightly, only to have the girl tumble over my paws and lend belly up before me. How…graceful. Hmmm, must take after Zen then, I, for one, was never so un-coordinated. Even so I managed a passing smile, forcing all other thoughts from my mind before tiny paws were abruptly shoved in my face as I snorted, my own significantly larger paw reaching up to bat softly at her. Hmm, apparently the Assassin King can be gentle when he tries, violet gaze gleaming with a passing wickedness of thought before the girl spoke, grinning up towards me with apparent delight. Not that I blame her, if I was paying me attention I’d be rather thrilled about it to and really, I find I rather like this one. Perhaps I can convince Cat Eye to allow Oswin to spend some time with Neveah, the half-sisters would be closer in age then Neveah would be to any of her other siblings and perhaps she would enjoy the company of another child. A thought for later.

Violet eyes flickered downward, chuckling softly at her words before lowering my muzzle, jaws parting to reveal sizeable fangs, the knives of my trade that had so often and so frequently brought death to those I was hired to eliminate the very fangs that built and broke empires all those years ago before the fire and rock the day the sky fell. Hmm, perhaps such stories are for later, even so, I find it amusing to think of such jaws now parted to allow my tongue to sweep across my daughter, smoothing her pelt, brushing at her hair as all my daughters have always loved, smoothing the imperfections with obvious care before pulling back to admire my work slightly. Better. No child of mine will parade about looking un-groomed. Even so I managed a smirk of sorts, features arching upward before offering the girl the answer she sought, after all, she should know of the glory of her heritage, of her blood and hell, one day, when she is old enough she will understand exactly the living legend that is her sire. I make no apologies for my vanity and really, who is brave enough to tell me otherwise?

“Yes, that is why you are bright and others are perhaps…less so. It is within your blood to be as such, you are born from greatness little one, born of Angels, winged wolves of pure white often Marked in red. Those are Angels and I, like you, are descended from such beings. We are pure, superior and darling don’t you ever forget it. You are half Angel, Neveah, for your mother is of other blood, yet it matters not. You are still born from me, still destined to be great as your siblings. Do you know of Isola? Leader and Queen of Diveen, this land? She is your sister, also born from me. Perhaps, one day, you shall be as great as they.”

I grinned once more, teasing lightly, knowing well that she surely intended to be just as great as her half-siblings, eyes regarding her another moment before I nuzzled at her again, nipping at her ears, worrying gently at them.

“Now tell me, Baby Girl, what is it you would like to do today, hmm? I think perhaps, that we should spend this day together and leave your Mother and Saint to sleep, how does that sound?”

For her, just for her, I can find the energy that seems so drained of late. Hell, sometimes I need a break too, even the greatest of Kings is not immortal….