Had I known I was partaking in some kind of meditation, perhaps I would have undergone such a thing more often. Truth be told, I had always been a waterborne wolf it seemed; I had taught a young Bluejay to swim, having spent afternoons with Nero, too, in the water. I had spent enough time challenging the sea and river of Paracon that this creek, this unnamed place, simply felt natural. Even after he left, this stranger that had come to join me, I would undoubtedly set myself up by the river to rest for some time. Perhaps I would find myself a temporary home somewhere close to the banks. I reveled in that thought, breathing in deep to fill my mind with the scent of fall. He spoke then of the river, and I cannot help but find myself nodding along in some kind of silent agreement. His words are cryptic, though perhaps they ring truer than anything I have heard in the last few years. Nothing can stay the same, not even I - we must change, we must bend at times so that we do not break. The river never ceases to progress.
"So too must we."
It is all I can say at this point, nodding slowly to confirm it to myself. Never would I surrender my name though - it is too much of me. It is within my past, my future and even within my family so for now... I am still Niviaq, still by name and face at least. The river will never wash away the past or the scars - I came to that realisation the moment I stood within it - but.. still, I can imagine it will do so. I can imagine the names from the past washing away, each one baring a smile as I try to let them go. Perhaps they will cling for some time but one day, like the river, I will be new again. I find myself smiling over the thought, following the male's lead and looking out over the world around us. It is still beautiful, at least, even if it took what was once the world I loved. I will love this one, too. I only bring myself away from my own thoughts when I see him move - he is slow, at my own level though I am so slight. I... I appreciate such a sentiment. It is most strange to find another so placid - I smile once more, this time at him, my tail slowly waving behind me as he speaks.
His words, somehow, pull the sadness from me once more. I find my lips dropping into a solemn look, my brows furrowing in thought. Change was... it had always been something I had so desired. I had wanted to change not only myself but the world all the same - peace, kindness, appreciation for the smallest of joys. That is what I had wanted and yet now I found myself fearing it all. I was afraid of changing, just as I was afraid of coming back to a land so changed. I sigh, longingly before I try to force that smile back to my face.
"You must excuse me, kind stranger. It is simply hard at times to not miss things in which you wished change had never occurred. Life is as it is, not as it were but one... one's mind can be a terrible thing."
I look down at my paws, swinging one out absently through the water and watching it ripple. I hope I have not somehow offended him nor caused him to be uncomfortable - that is horrible to imagine! But my kind is still scattered, still prone to go searching for things and... and I have found his words to be kind. Maybe I am foolish but even now, I find myself hoping such kind words can help cover the blemishes the past has left on my soul. Still, I am nervous. To speak so flatly, so negatively... it is not who I am, not usually. But Faol'an, you understand well that some of us have a soul sickness that is difficult to cure. You had healed in so long ago beneath the stars - you cannot force fate to come before it is ready. Fate was both destruction but also healing.
Yojimbo.
The word once more dragged me out of my thoughts - my ears flickered to him, my eyes soon following with a cocked head. His name? One most unusual, but who was I to say such things? He speaks of a they though and I think on it momentarily before resigning to the fact that I will probably not know who they is. Still, I am glad to have fully made his acquaintance. I bow my head low for some seconds, offering him my quiet respect before I speak, my voice quiet. He is the first to know my name in these new lands, I only hope he will use it well.
"Niviaq."
I take it as a cue to be more comfortable - after all, he is no threat. Perhaps he can stay and speak. Perhaps he will teach me of this new world, what it is I must know before I try to live once again. I have faith in him because the last time I met another so alike to him, nothing but good came from it. It will be hard to not linger on the darkness that threatened to crawl back into my mind but for now, it is easy enough to sweep away with a wave of my tail and small talk.
"This place was once another place - I am not sure if you know such a thing. I can see so much has changed but tell me... have the wolves? I feel like I am truly alone in a world where I know no names but your own and mine."
I hope I am wrong - I hope I am not alone. Either way, I shall reward him for his help today. I will shower him in rabbits and doves if it is what he desires but to help an old lady is something I cannot thank one enough for. Without him, I am not sure I would ever leave the river (though, I certainly plan on staying within it for some time.)