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I can still recall all of my children's personalities when they were younger. Nova was always the feisty one, full of fierce bravery and imagination. Max was always quiet, a daddy's girl from the start. It strains my heart to think of her and how little time we spent together. Holo was observant and thoughtful most of the time, seemingly having more fun in his own head than anywhere else. He rarely went out to play with Nova but when he did, it was a wonderful sight to behold. There were many times I sat in the den entrance and watched them run and play. He had such a graceful look about him and I couldn't help thinking then that he was going to make his father proud. Faol'an never got to see him grow up though. I didn't even get to see him grow up. My heart twists in my chest and I find it hard to catch my breath when I think about how little I knew him and Max. And now this stranger before me reminds me of my long lost son. Bile rises in my throat because I keep telling myself that it cannot possibly be him. This torn up creature with three usable legs, so reminescent of Faol'an, no way could it be my sweet boy. And yet my mother's heart knows before I can accept the truth and that's why I feel the surging panik in my chest. I never thought I would find him, not like this. Maybe healthy with a family, children running around his legs and a mate to nuzzle into his chest. Not like this. Not this broken down creature with empty eyes and a history of pain and heartache. It tears me in two to think of any of my children seeing this fate. I don't know how long he's been in Moladian and it doesn't matter even if I did know. i've found him now and that's all that matters. I wonder if he even knew I lived here now. If he did, would he even want to seek me out? Would he want to know that he has half siblings, that I moved on yet again and found another mate and made a family? Guilt treads heavy in my heart that my children have seen me go through three mates. Faol'an, Lucas Zero, Acheron. Of course, Nova, Max, and Holo never got to meet the third one. They would have liked him, I'm sure of it. Acheron was a gentle loving male, like their father. He would do anything for his children, whether they were his blood or not. He would have taught Holo how to be a warrior. The moment he turns to face me after my voice cuts the air, I inhale sharply, a mixture of pain and joy wrestling in my gaze already prickling with fresh tears. My dear sweet boy. Who could do this to you? His eyes are wide like he can't believe it's me. Maybe he didn't know that I was here, after all. He looks shocked to see me, just as shocked as I am to see him. His face falters and my heart twists again. He grimaces like he's in physical pain, apprehension clear on his handsome features. Does he doubt that I will know him? I may not know his backside too well but I would be a horrible mother not to know my own son's face. Finally he does speak but his words puzzle me. They're not a direct answer to my question though perhaps he knew what I would ask next. Of course, going by what I see, I would call him an outright liar. The wounds look older, of course, so I don't think he's in any imminent pain, but some wounds never truly heal and he seems to have the worst of it. I ache just looking at him. He still looks doubtful, as if I will not recognize him. There should never be a question in his mind about his own mother knowing his face, no matter how much it's changed. He'll always be my darling baby boy. I can see he's strugging internally with something, perhaps the urge to flee or the urge to approach? I cannot guess which. His questions sends me over the edge though. He voices his doubt and it tears me up inside. A broken sob tears from my chest as I rush to him, burrowing my face in his chest as I nuzzle and lick every inch of his front that I can, my voice a mangled cry as I press myself to him, my motherly urges seeking to comfort him, let him know even now that everything's going to be okay. "My dear, sweet Holo, how could I not know you? I searched all over Blossom for you, your sister and I both. We were worried sick about you! I hate seeing you like this, darling. Please, tell me the wolf who did this got what he deserved. Tell me he paid for his crimes." As I step back a little, the motherly comfort in me turns to the rage of a protective parent. My eyes glisten with vengeance, wanting to know my son's attacker paid the price. I don't care if he's here or a million leagues from here. Don't think I won't hunt myself a wolf and show them why they don't touch a child of mine. I may be the gentle mother with a heart of gold but these eyes see gray as well as black and white and I'm always willing to fight when it's for someone I love. My son will never be the same and I want to know someone else can say the same. |