IP: 58.168.131.206
Posted on December 22, 2013 at 06:28:18 AM by e d e n
how long will we blame the devils on our shoulders
Boleyn, Solaris and Magnus. It has taken me time but surely, I am finding those like myself. Though Solaris does not know it, it is because of he that I search for them. In fact, my search has become almost a hunger, a yearning to find those that are not weak or brittle like so many I see before me. In the last two seasons, I have been feeling stranger, different though I am positive it is because I have grown once more. Still, I am beginning to crave more than just others like myself. At two years old, I am no longer simply a child; my muscles have grown, taut and stringy and my legs finally looking as if they belong to me. No longer am I a lanky child. I am fast becoming Eden rather than Castor, Emry, whichever name I choose to be. Eden is almost here, and I can feel him becoming restless with such a stagnant form of living.
For starters, Diveen had fast become too small, too crowded. I knew each scent too well, each face and voice was no longer a mystery to me. If I were to subdue whatever stirring refused to still within me, then I would need to address such an issue. Come the break of the morning light, I had fast taken to the free lands, breaking free of the borders with little effort. Despite the ongoing border patrols, they had fast become predictable, too. It took little time to track each particular wolf's chosen trajectory and slip in between their rounds. The journey west took some time longer, posing as a small challenge. At some point, I was required to traverse the central river, leaping from stone to stone till I was on the other side. This worked in my benefit, regardless. My trail would go dry for any who tried to follow me.
Even though I had traveled so far, I still did not know what I sought. The same persistent agitation remained inside me - I gritted my teeth, keeping my features as composed and expressionless as ever. Though agitating, no others needed to know of it. Not even mother had any inkling that I had become so restless lately, and I assumed the same could be said even for Boleyn. The thought of her agitated me even more, though I did not understand it. The only thing I could think to do was release a low, hushed growl as I lurked through the shrubbery and woods. Something took my mind off it, though, my eyes falling on the small, caramel form of another some distance from me. It took me but a moment to decide that I would occupy my time with the female - her scent was peculiar, a new one to my nose and indeed, she was small.... weak, perhaps. At least the annoyance of my own thoughts were hushed as I began to shift my own direction; I moved with a slow lope, raising my head high and moving with a confidence that came all too naturally. Who would I be today? Who did she deserve?
I moved from behind her, making little effort to silence my steps. Let her know. It seemed the water held her attention, her head inclined towards it. Why? Why stare at one's own reflection? It made no sense. One did not need to find one's self attractive, after all. My brow cocked as I paused, my toes flexing in the grass and loam.
"What is it that you inspect?"
I took to the common tongue, assuming that she did not know the words that I would otherwise speak. It bothered me at times that both languages I knew were in fact spoken so many. I could not even whisper in Latin without another understanding my voice; I despised that risk. Even now, my ears flickered about in search of the sound of others - I would not be listened to without my consent.
"Is your face so interesting?"
I inquired, softening my voice and tilting my head to its left though my facial features remained story-less, without even a crease or hint of my inner workings. Instead, I tried to force curiosity into them - a soft smile, the corners of my lips twitching back ever so slightly. Let me see it. Let me see you.
and pose like angels on the outside
For starters, Diveen had fast become too small, too crowded. I knew each scent too well, each face and voice was no longer a mystery to me. If I were to subdue whatever stirring refused to still within me, then I would need to address such an issue. Come the break of the morning light, I had fast taken to the free lands, breaking free of the borders with little effort. Despite the ongoing border patrols, they had fast become predictable, too. It took little time to track each particular wolf's chosen trajectory and slip in between their rounds. The journey west took some time longer, posing as a small challenge. At some point, I was required to traverse the central river, leaping from stone to stone till I was on the other side. This worked in my benefit, regardless. My trail would go dry for any who tried to follow me.
Even though I had traveled so far, I still did not know what I sought. The same persistent agitation remained inside me - I gritted my teeth, keeping my features as composed and expressionless as ever. Though agitating, no others needed to know of it. Not even mother had any inkling that I had become so restless lately, and I assumed the same could be said even for Boleyn. The thought of her agitated me even more, though I did not understand it. The only thing I could think to do was release a low, hushed growl as I lurked through the shrubbery and woods. Something took my mind off it, though, my eyes falling on the small, caramel form of another some distance from me. It took me but a moment to decide that I would occupy my time with the female - her scent was peculiar, a new one to my nose and indeed, she was small.... weak, perhaps. At least the annoyance of my own thoughts were hushed as I began to shift my own direction; I moved with a slow lope, raising my head high and moving with a confidence that came all too naturally. Who would I be today? Who did she deserve?
I moved from behind her, making little effort to silence my steps. Let her know. It seemed the water held her attention, her head inclined towards it. Why? Why stare at one's own reflection? It made no sense. One did not need to find one's self attractive, after all. My brow cocked as I paused, my toes flexing in the grass and loam.
"What is it that you inspect?"
I took to the common tongue, assuming that she did not know the words that I would otherwise speak. It bothered me at times that both languages I knew were in fact spoken so many. I could not even whisper in Latin without another understanding my voice; I despised that risk. Even now, my ears flickered about in search of the sound of others - I would not be listened to without my consent.
"Is your face so interesting?"
I inquired, softening my voice and tilting my head to its left though my facial features remained story-less, without even a crease or hint of my inner workings. Instead, I tried to force curiosity into them - a soft smile, the corners of my lips twitching back ever so slightly. Let me see it. Let me see you.
when all i am is a monster
Replies:
- Am I Blessing or A Curse - By Mistletoe December 22, 2013 at 03:39:15 PM
it doesn't exist if you can hide it behind your teeth. - By e d e n January 6, 2014 at 04:26:03 AM
Am I A Blessing or A Curse - By Mistletoe January 6, 2014 at 10:50:37 PM
it doesn't exist if you can hide it behind your teeth. - By e d e n January 10, 2014 at 12:14:38 PM
Am I A Blessing or A Curse - By Mistletoe January 16, 2014 at 05:52:36 PM
it doesn't exist if you can hide it behind your teeth. - By e d e n January 19, 2014 at 08:40:40 AM
Am I A Blessing or A Curse - By Mistletoe January 19, 2014 at 04:15:19 PM
it doesn't exist if you can hide it behind your teeth. - By e d e n January 28, 2014 at 11:38:55 AM
Am I A Blessing or A Curse - By Mistletoe January 28, 2014 at 05:03:37 PM
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