No, she didn't like the word desperation. It seemed too... cold of a word, too hungry of a word. No, she much preferred urgency, perhaps, but even that made her feel awkward and uneasy. It was hard to put a word to something that she hardly understood, and she felt such a fool not being able to know exactly what drew her to the boy. After all, their last encounter had been quite... less than normal, so what exactly made her wish to come back so awfully? Did she not have more urgent things to tend to? Shouldn't she have been spending time with Spirit, or taking it upon herself to continue teaching Meryl even more than she already had? There were literally dozens of things she should have been doing and yet, she found herself almost absentmindedly trekking back to where she could only hope he'd be. Surely, she figured, it was mere curiosity over his oddities and how unusual he was compared to the usual mellow wolves she spent her time with. He was the other - foreign, odd, and yet something she had to seek out.
She also figured that she best seek him out before it drove her insane. Already, she had practically lost sleep over wondering where he was, what he was doing and if he was doing well despite her not even knowing why she wanted to know those things. The most logical answer was that it was simply in her nature. Perhaps some part of him, a part she refused to admit or become aware of, reminded her subconscious of Faol'an, or even Jaylah or Juno. Surely something reminded her of those she cared for and thus, in turn made her care for those parts of him. Well... it made sense to her, at least, and it eased the time passing between when she had met him and when she had finally given in and begun her search of the fields. At least, and she thanked the stars for it, he would be easy enough to spot. It was not very often that one's fur resembled the very sun and autumn leaves itself, right?
Whatever the case, she'd certainly been thinking of him, a series of thoughts that seemed to sporadically rise within her for no apparent reason. It almost caught her off guard, her legs stopping beneath her seemingly without her permission before something - or someone - landed beside her with a sudden thud. So suddenly, she lifted her head, wide eyed and startled as she recoiled slightly and yet, her body wanted to move forward, closer to the other. It was an awkward thing, one that made her stumble slightly as her body decided what to do. Eventually, it decided to steady itself, eyes fixated on those obsidian eyes. If she had wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, or even break into a smile, he was fast to put a stop to it with his question.
Did she call him? She frowned, cocking a brow as if his question was one that he should have known the answer to already. After all, he had not come across as a daft thing - quite the contrary! - and yet the question, even to her, seemed laughable almost.
"I uttered not a single word. Did you follow me from home?"
She spoke calmly, as if asking a child if he had stolen eggs from the gulls, though one side of her lip curled up into a subtle grin. Part of her almost hoped he'd say yes, that he had been waiting for her and perhaps even wanting to see her. The other part? Well, she didn't know how well Alcide would take a creeper on the borders, especially not one who threw words around like the leaves during a storm.
She had moved to speak, her tail waving behind her and her lips breaking into a kindlier smile but before she could even exhale, he spoke once more and leapt down and away. For a moment, she simply watched as he ran back and forward, her head tilting from one axis to the other as she chuckled quietly to herself. The realisation that he had not followed her, too, was almost relieving, though part of her felt a little... hurt over it, she figured. It was never fun to get one's hopes up, after all. Still, she did feel it... she supposed. She had not felt such a thing before, and it captivated her. With her mouth fallen into a soft 'o', she too leapt from the boulder, landing delicately on the grass before backing up and away from him in sync with his own movements. With each step, she could practically feel the thoughts of his tugging and nagging at the back of her mind, only to be satiated when she took a step forward.
"I feel it, though I hardly understand it. It is not something I have felt before, or even heard described. Do you think, perhaps, we are sick? Perhaps we caught something that day when all the others gathered."
She mused for a moment, pausing and staring off into space as she considered the possibility. Really, she had not felt all that bad - of course, there had been the mental itching during their time apart and yet, now she felt wonderful, as if she had awoken five years younger and well fed, too. Her brows furrowed, evidently perplexed by her inability to pinpoint any physical signs of illness. After all, even the boy had seemingly good health - clear eyes, a nose not quite wet and not quite dry and fur that was neither dry nor slick. If she could have, she would have blushed after having found herself staring at him - instead, she shifted nervously on her paws, stumbling over her words as she attempted to get them out.
"I, uh, I live in Spirane... the mountains, you know. Do... do you come from somewhere? I mean, do you live somewhere?"
She wanted to crawl back into her shell and curl up, though she would have much preferred if he'd join her there. Ah, she would have blushed again, but instead, she turned away and buried her muzzle into the fur of her shoulder, hoping her mouth would not utter such awful thoughts.