Chael knew he would receive rejection. It all he’d ever gotten. Still, there was a sad pang in his heart, like there always was. Not tragic, just how one feels after being refused a date. She seemed to pause though, as if mulling over the idea of companion. His ebony imprint seemed drawn to the idea, but at the same time, refuse it. He understood, for he was not a character dripping of strong masculine power which was so greatly desired in the world. However, she had plenty of that husky cruel will for the two of them. His ears perked towards her lamely to her second refusal of him today. She certainly slammed doors shut when he attempt to step through them. Chael was saddened that she felt she had too. He suppose he had yet to attempt direct flattery – though he doubted it would have much effect given that he had complimented her eyes when they had first met. That had gotten him nowhere.
She truly was shielded by steel, and another wolf more bold maybe would have attempted to break a hole in the defense and force his way through. Chael sensed that she needed that defense though. It kept whoever was behind it safe from the brutality of the world and he didn’t want to crack an armor that was placed there for good reason. His only solution, then, was to wait and be patient and try to understand. He watched her teeth flash at him and he lowered his ears to the side and stepped a pace away from her. He let her judge him, whether he felt it justified or not. The femme fatale was correct in her own mind and experience. He watched her with dejected blue eyes.
Her agile paws were well trained and silent. His eyes traced the sinewy muscle of her appendages as they flexed. She was threatening him, Chael could feel. Fate tugged at strings around his heart, trying to unleash something as she made her demand of him. But Chael resisted for a moment. He was scared of the result of change, but his resistance to the sudden pull on his being was more because she didn’t understand. If he were to give up something so precious, for he would for her, she must first know of what she asked. He raised his head and looked at her with unemotional eyes.
“Do not mistake me for having no pride. You do not understand. My role in Iromar is significant. What I offer to the monsters of my pack is softness. I am the keeper of their kindness and I suffer for that part of their soul so that they can in turn be ruthless without guilt. I take pride in that; That I help others remain strong.
Perhaps you think is unjust that I take the beatings and am submissive? Submissiveness is not a crime in Iromar, nor even distasteful. It is what has kept me alive amongst them. They use me as a punching bag sometimes because I represent everything they hate. It is my state of mind that they hate.
I cannot offer aggression, domination, animosity, or strength. These are the traits they highly regard and my mind has refused to allow me to feel them. What I can offer, they know as weakness and I know it is, but it is all that I know that can give. I offer solace, acceptance, love, and mercy.”
He then stepped forwards and offered his muzzle to her, “Are you certain that as I am now is not what you need?” The Chael-that-is’ ear twitched, waiting for her answer. He was on the verge of change, convinced that in this moment it was the right course, but was holding the change at bay for a moment. What he said he said for himself. The nervousness was still a part of him and before he whisked it away with an easy flick of his paw, he had to offer her the choice because the Chael-that-is was fearful of the wolf that stood beyond the gate being force open inside of him. He wanted the fear to be completely at rest because it instilled in him doubt that he would survive molding into the wolf beyond the gate. And He knew that he’d have to be without doubt for the black and silver she-wolf.
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