A wide river dominates this section of the forest. Romance is in the air, and wolves of all ages come to search for their mate.

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&& you say i'm the perfect drug
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The things she still does to me every time her bright gaze sweeps my way...it just astounds me. The mometn she touches me, I melt into a puddle of helplessness, held forever captive by her voice, her very perfume that imprisons me. She doesn't even have to touch me to make me feel this way. All she has to do is be around me. It's like a toxic addiction, like something you know is bad for you, something you know can kill you and yet you keep going back for more. We are bad for each other's health. My little antic in Aurora Borealis should have proved as much. It could have been the death of me, kidnapping that girl and taking her to the very pack she belonged to. Holding her life in my paws like I did, I was asking for a death sentence and yet instead I got salvation through Kohaku. Always she has been there to save me, even before I knew it was saving I needed.

And now we have chosen a new home, a new beginning. Serris has quite the welcoming party but I won't be turned off by his frozen humor. He can play mind games all he wants, I'll play right back. Never a meek follower, he will know he has a prince within his paradise. Kohaku knew what she was getting herself into the day she told me that she loved me. Serris has no idea who he's letting into his pack. It still amazes me to this day, how we ended up here. Kohaku couldn't stand the very sight of me. The day I approached her while hunting coyotes with my siblings and some other kids from Malignant Felicity, she turned up her nose at me as if I was the coyotes' fresh dung pile. I was of no interest to her, even though I was the interest of just about every other female out there.

I was a player in my younger days. I spent many a cold winter night snuggled down with a pretty girl. I wooed them during the night and broke their hearts in the morning. It wasn't even a thing of guilt anymore. That's how little love and affection used to mean to me. And then Kohaku went and tore my ideas to shreds. She despised me and I couldn't get enough of it. Maybe if she had acted impressed like all the other girls, I would have lost interest and we wouldn't be together. I thank the gods it was her every day. If not for her, I would still probably be charming girls by night and breaking hearts by day. Not that it was a bad existence but it masked a truer feeling I felt. Empty, like my insides were made of nothing but air. Perhaps the past of my parents were to blame. After all, I was father by not one but two male wolves. Sidorio went missing not long after my birth and I never got to meet him. Arcadian became something of a father to me when he returned. We even had a sparring match, but I don't see any of myself in him. He's reserved and wise and I'm well....none of those things.

Perhaps I share more of Sidorio and Queens in me than any. Queens was a caring mother but she doesn't dote on her children like some. She raised us to be independent in fierce in something we wanted. Maybe that's why I fought for Kohaku tooth and nail even when it seemed like we didn't have a chance in hell. Even when she turned her back on me and went to Kalgalath, I found a way to get her back. I fought against the impossible because I couldn't go on living without her.

And now I feel like a piece of me is missing because she's unhappy and I don't know why. The first few weeks together were bliss. We were too wrapped up in each other to think about anything else but our own happiness. We were like two teenage lovers again. You couldn't stick a blade of grass between us. And now look where we are. Even following with my side pressed against her, there's a tension in the air of unspoken words and I don't even know what those words are. She seems nervous, her skin rippling against my own with anxiety and I'm too scared to speak out. In these moments, I'm actually afraid, something I'd never admit to being. I've never felt like this before, like I'm losing myself but that's what it feels like to think about losing her. She has become so much a part of me, the thought of her rejection cuts through me like a knife, even though she has yet to say a word. I just know that whatever she's bringing me here to say, she's not looking forward to my reaction.

She picks a pretty public place. I would have thought the cavern or the field would offer more privacy but instead she takes me to Romance River, the place where lovers meet. It's almost comical, something like a bitter grimace touching my lips when I picture her breaking up with me here. Is she going for irony? Cause that would take the cake. And again, my throat feels too parched to say a word. Any words I could think to say die in my throat. My tail flicks behind me, my own clue of unease. Finally she turns her haunting eyes to me and starts talking, her very first words the last ones anyone would want to hear. My ears fold back, my bright blues finding hers with wariness, my pace slowing a bit. My whole body stiffens. She might as well come out with it because she's knows I'm not the most patient of wolves. She starts venting now, even using the word "frightening." My pupils dilate, my tongue drying out in my mouth. I shift my weight on my paws, not sure if I want to hear the rest. Is this really it? Is this really the end?

She mentions hoping it would be a dream now and my ears flicker in confusion. Is she talking about her feelings for me? That she had hoped they would return but they haven't? I take a swallow, feeling like there's a dry hard stone in my throat that just won't go down. Defeat seems to weight down my shoulders when she says how it's not that easy. Of course it's not. Love never is and I say this with so little experience, yet I've never felt anything so fiercely as I do now. I don't think I could ever love someone the way I love her. Doesn't she know that? Haven't I proven that time and again? Was it just too much? Did I overwhelm her? Would she give me another chance or is she set in her decision? We have reached the water of the river now and she had to raise her voice some to talk above it. She looks at me, parting her lips to speak but then she looks away and a jolt reverberates through my form. This is killing me.

I look away too, unable to stare at her any longer while she's trying to find the words to rip my heart out and stomp it beneath her petite paws. She's going to murder me right here and she's the one who can't speak. The wild river calls to me and for a moment, I consider jumping in. Anything sounds better than sitting here waiting for the end. Finally I feel her gaze drawn back to me and I brace, ready for the collision of the worst words I'll ever hear.

And then everything freezes in time as she forms the two words I never thought I'd hear.

My ears flicekr uncertainly before folding back once more, my tail stuttering in its flicking to settle icily against the ground. My eyes were still looking toward the river though the pupils have dilated ten times over if that's even possible. My hackles rise and then fall as if I'm no longer in control of my own body. I inhale sharply, trying to remember how to breathe as my whole system seems to restart, like a computer rebooting. Finally after what feels like forever, my gaze slowly drags back to her own, my lips parting a few times with nothing but air escaping before I finally manage a croaky voice.

"Did you just say...."

I stop, swallowing as I try to wet my totally dry mouth. I can't even say the word. Pregnant? Pregnant?? The notion had never occurred to me, not even all we did. I know how it works but I never thought about the consequences. Suddenly my mind remembers what I'd been dreading this whole time.

"Wait....that's it? That's all you have to say?"

My voice is numb, bordering on cracked. My eyes search her features, suddenly hungry for an answer, yearning for her to say yes, that that's all. I take a hesitant step toward her, my breath suddenly ragged, like I just got done running a mile.

"I thought....I thought you were leaving me."

My voice sounds pitiful, even to my own ears. I know my mother and fathers would be terribly disgusted with me right now if they could see the sight I've become.



Nikandros_male_adult_unconditionally Kohaku's_brother to Leonidas, Kaizer, Ariston & Nyrobi_Queens x Arcadian x Sidorio_sire to none _prince of nowhere



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