Was he ignoring Flame? Perhaps…no…yes…okay he didn’t know which way was up and down anymore. Everything had seemed good so far, until his night. He had made up with Dragon, earned a place, and even found that he could live up to what he coveted. Maybe then, after cementing what he had with Dragon he would have found the courage to find Flame and suffer his penance but that had not happened and it is true that he is a coward. He did not want anyone to point out his flaws, did not want to admit that he indeed had some. That was his problem, he knew it, but just hated that everyone else did too. It was just so easy to turn his back, to pretend that this was not happening until the morning. Yes, he could come up with many reasons why this should wait but then at the end he was just making excuses…it has always been excuses.

He calls out, his sing song voice so like a damn female’s as it carries to him, slapping once than twice with the vehemence behind them. Tired he was, worn utterly out, yet that damn hot blood of his will not be denied.

”Perhaps so Flame. Can this not wait until the morning?”

When he could check on Dragon and be gone before the blood hued male even thinks to ascent the mountain side to speak with him. Maybe they should have this talk after he has healed, then with Dragon there to referee. That would be easier yes…but would it truly solve anything? He was a man and a man handled his business himself. He had just looked down in disgust at Meryl for letting Dragon fight his battles, was he not doing the same? Self loathing rears its head and he shakes his head, turning to take a few hobbling steps closer to Flame, determined to be a man for once in his life.

”I was not needed. So why stick around when she has him to tend to her? I am not her mate, just her shadow.”

He can hear the disgust and resents it. He did not run from his problems. He had an order and in order to follow through he had removed himself from the situation for a run. He had not intended to get in the fight…okay that was a lie. At least it was not with whom he really wanted it with. He had shown restraint right? He would not stand for him standing before him all self righteous. Slowly he places his paw down, careful not to place his weight upon it but still it showed his defiance.

That damn defiance that got him into more trouble than grace.

”I am Leonidas damnit and I am your brother.”

Okay so the previous statement had hurt more than he let on; a fear of losing everyone bright within his mind. He did not know if he could do this, he actually cared about what they thought and felt…his Dragon and Flame. They were all he had and for once in his life he saw the situation in a different light. A tired resignation flares within his eyes as he watches his childhood friend, gaze trailing across the way his fur shivers across his hackles. Flame never cursed…this he knew and yet somehow he has brought this out of his friend.

Flame continues his verbal assault, the soft lyrical qualities returning to his voice making his earlier question all the more startling. He had more of an impact than he previously thought…he mattered. That soothed more his own fractured ego, that pup within him that wanted nothing more than to matter and be loved. Perhaps that was part of the problem. His fear of rejection so strong that he hides behind his anger. No one could hurt him if he did not let them get close. He did not have time to fully delve into this though for the urge to utter word vomit is strong.

”I AM her protector. I have went for a run knowing that she is in the capable hands of her imprint and sister! How am I wrong in this?!”

If he had hands he would have thrown them up. How was he wrong when she was cared for? She had her heart and soul there, she had family, she did not need him. As for himself…well that is another matter.

”I am fine.”

Head hangs in shame, not wanting to divulge the particular details of his little…foray. The tone of Flame slicing him and opening up more wounds to his already battered ego.

”Well no one told you to wait up all night just to tell me how much I disgust you. I deal with the stress in my life my own way and you have no right to judge me. I am here and I have no intention of leaving. I ended up on the wrong side of a particular situation during my run but it is of little matter. I can fight, it is nothing more than a scratch.”

He grits this out, the pain of standing the way he has on all fours, clouding his mind but he is resolute. He will not buckle. He has built his entire existence on the force of his will and he can not let it fail him now.

”I have learned self control, more so than you will ever know.”

Head turns, unable to look into those fathomless emerald depths. He knows what he might find there and does not wish to see it. Does not wish to know what he knows he know. Oh yes, tonight he has learned that he can not always have what he wants. He knows that he can not rage against those that he wishes to rage upon. He knows that he must restrain himself despite the black hole that squirms within him. He proved this tonight however he can not be expected not to find release anywhere. NO one could contain the amount of dark energy without finding a way to cope…to expel it.

”What makes you think I picked a fight with anyone? I could have just fell down some precipice and landed on some very sharp rocks? As for what do I have to say for myself…”

He pauses. He could say many things, he could defend his stance. He could ask after Dragon’s little sisters. He could even say fuck you and turn away but softly only several words slip out.

”I am foolish. Do you think it would be better if I did not return?”

Eyes burn at that question, for it held everything he did not wish to voice. It held his vulnerability and his hopes and dreams. It spoke of his fears and the acknowledgement of his short comings. It suggested that he might not be enough.