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I know that I'm weak. I know that I'm useless. I know that I should have been more of a fighter like my father, like my sister. I should have helped mom, but somehow I knew that it wouldn't do any good. I knew that I would be just another dead body beside hers if I had left my hiding place. Her last expression before death took her will always be etched in my nightmares. She wanted me to run. She wanted me to run away, to live. So why do I feel so worthless? I have a feeling Viora will be looking for me. I could hear someone chasing me for the longest time when I ran and when I looked back, I saw no one. At first, I thought it might be the loner tracking me, toying with me now that mom was dead. Maybe she still wanted revenge for me asking about her scars. But as time wore on, I had a feeling she wouldn't be after me this long, this far. It had to be Viora. And yet I couldn't stop running, not till I hit the banks of the river. When I look in the water, I think back to when mom said she looks at me and sees my father, Cobryn. I know his name by heart even though I never met him. I wonder how much I really do look like him. I wonder if I've got any of his other features besides his face. I know that he was a fighter though. Mom told me how he fought for a territory and won, how he only watned safety for mom and those he cared about. He was a good man and a fighter. So why can't I stand the thought of curling my lips back at another wolf? It just seems unthinkable to me. Even as a pup, I couldn't do more than tackle my sister. Even as she bit at my ears and feet, I only cried out for mercy and tried to run away or talk it out with her. I never tried to retaliate. My only thought was that if it hurt me, why would I want to hurt her? I didn't see what good it did then and I don't know. Even though that wolf killed mom, I don't want to hurt her. I wish I could help her, actually. I wish I knew the right things to say to make her not so angry. As I hear her running up behind me, I slowly turn to her with a growing smile on my face, glad to see my sister, but my expression changes to something more shocked as I see she's not slowing and....why does she look so angry? I hear her snarl and I whimper in response. What'd I do? At that instant, her body slams into mine, pulling a cry from my lips as we both fall into the river. I spit and sputter as I swim to the surface, hurrying toward the shore as I yell back at her. "Viora, what are you thinking?! You just tried to drown me! Get your head together!" I reach the shore and shake the water from my coat. I breathe in and out but it hurts. She's got to watch her strength. That really hurt! I bet it's going to bruise in just a few hours. When she gets back to me, I turn to her, ready to accept her apology but then she snarls again and I step back, befuddled. Tilting my head, my ears flick back. "Viora?" I part my lips to say more but then she's lunging at me and I jump back with another cry of surprise. She catches just the fur of my neck this time but it still stings as she rips the hairs from my skin. My brow furrows as I stay on my toes now. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Don't you see that it's me, your brother?! Stop playing around!" She must be in a frenzy cause of grief or something. Why else would she be attacking her own blood? She screams at me and she sounds so angry. My heart breaks with the sound. She lunges at me again and I manage to dodge completely this time but I could still feel the wind from her jaws. I jump back, trying to stay completely out of reach, at least till she calms down. "This is no way to handle your grief, Viora. We need to stick together!" My tail flicks in frustration as I glare at her like a parent scolding a child. Can't she see that she's being rather immature? Tristan.male.4 years old.son of Enigma & |