 “Renn?” Nico said tentatively as Renn began to tug vigorously on the zip of her bag.
“Where’s my compass?” she muttered under her breath, running over to the chest of drawers by the window and pulling the top compartment open. She couldn’t listen to her familiar; he was going to try and talk her out of it. Nico sagged sadly and fluttered over to where she was standing. Resigning himself to the fact that nothing he could say was going to help, and acutely aware of the fact that he was incapable of stopping her physically, he stuck his bill into the open drawer. The objects made various noises as both fairy and toucan rooted through the chaotic contents. It was Nico who found it nestled in the back corner and he pulled the carved brass dial free of the drawer. The movement caught Renn’s eye and she turned her head towards the toucan, holding out her hand. With another sigh, Nico dropped it into her waiting palm. Renn stared at it a while, remembering the long months she had spent walking through Shaman glancing down at the little dial. She pressed the worn button on the front and popped open the lid; pushed into its underside was a sketch of Henry.
She froze again as she stared down into his eyes, as if hypnotised by the sight of his face. It was a little creased and worn at the edges, but she had carried it with her ever since he had left. Even the compass itself had been his. When Renn had spoken to people in the Cove she had always shown them that particular picture, and every time she had stood waiting for a reply she had dared to hope. She had always been disappointed. No one had seen him.
“Renn?” Nico said again, even more anxious than before, “are you okay?” She didn’t know why, but her familiar’s question broke the spell and she felt a new wave of tears. No...she wasn’t was she? Her heart was throbbing and if she thought about it too much she felt a little sick. Her thoughts weren’t quite threading together; it felt like whenever she reached out to them they danced away and remained curiously intangible. Grief and guilt closed in on her in their place, smothering everything else until she felt trapped and alone. He had left her alone for so long...
The hinges of the door creaked as it was pushed open from outside. Renn spun around, clutching the compass protectively to her chest as if whoever was on the other side was coming to take it from her. For a single mad moment she half-expected it to be Henry, and she breathed out one long breath. Her eyes closed and she saw him so clearly; his eyes were shining, his mouth curved in a laugh which showed his teeth and revealed the deep dimple in the centre of his flattened chin. Oh how she loved that face! She wanted to touch it, to run her fingers along the line of his cheekbones, and she wanted him to look at her. Oh Aura. She clutched at her chest; her heart hurt. What was wrong with her? He was hers, he had always been hers...why hadn’t she been allowed to keep him?
It wasn’t Henry in the doorway, it was Flynn. The realisation hit her like a blow and Renn felt like she was about to choke.
“You’re not going to stop me!” she told him through defiant tears as she marched back across the room and grabbed her bag, hoisting it onto her shoulder. He didn’t say anything, he just stood there in silence staring at her with those big blue eyes of his just being Flynn. She hated herself for being disappointed.
“You’re not going to stop me!” she announced again, sounding a little less certain that just seconds previously. He looked like he was going to; he filled the doorway in his guard’s uniform. Renn made a mad dash for the doorway, running straight into her brother’s arms. They closed around her and held her fast in a warm embrace, but she braced herself against his chest and tried to get free.
“No, no no,” she sobbed, trying to squirm free, “let go of me, Flynn! I’ll never forgive you if you don’t let go!”
Flynn stood there immovable until she finally ran out of energy. The last of her resolve crumbled and she began to cry again. It wrenched noises of despair from her throat as she buried her face in his shoulder, seeking comfort instead of freedom. She wanted him to hold her and never let go...
“I thought he was dead!” she told him, wrapping her fingers into the fabric of his tunic and staring into his face with eyes both frantic and imploring. He had to understand her! “I convinced myself that he was dead! I let myself believe it, Flynn! How could I do that? How could I do that to him!?” Renn felt her legs give way beneath her, but Flynn held her fast and guided her down to the floor until they sat there half in the corridor and half in the room. He cradled her against his chest and let her cry.
“How could I do that to him? I promised him I’d never give up on him, I promised.” Her entire body heaved with the effort. “I told him I’d always believe in him, even if no one else would...” She felt her energy drifting away from her and managed to mutter “why hasn’t he come home?” before she lapsed into silence. Her fingers lost their grip on the compass in her hand and it dropped to the floor to roll across the wooden floorboards.
He felt her calm and ran his fingers gently through her long dark hair. Flynn looked up at Danny with a reassuring smile, knowing that the whole affair had probably freaked him out on a monumental scale.
“It’s okay,” he promised his brother, “she’s going to be fine.” Extracting his hand from around his sister Flynn patted the floorboards for Danny to sit beside them.
“Talk to her,” he urged the boy in a gentle tone, “it doesn’t matter what you say, just talk to her.”
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