fourteen - no heart - Heyel's soul - Spirane
sister of warlow, dam of sven *adopted*
this is her in blackouts

The details of Fenrir's absence in his sons life were not known to her. Maybe if she knew she'd be a little more inclined towards disdain for the male for simply abandoning his child. That might stem from the fact that she very much craved a child of her own. Sven was her adopted son by all rights - not by choice on his part, really, but by happenstance - and she was thankful he had chosen to stay in Spirane. Not because of her but because he called this place home. Still it had opened up a line of communication between them. She had split her secrets to him and he had shared his fears with her. A relationship can only be built on the foundations of such intimacies. She would see that he achieved his goals. If he ever chose to acknowledge her as more than simply 'Natu' then she would be elated but to ask for such from him, to demand him to say something along the lines would be to ruin any chance of happiness between them. It would be false.

Her pale blue eyes cut a path from the trees and the rapidly warming morning sky back to her alpha as Daenery's craftily worded statement met her ears. "Of course, my Queen." Yes, to be in such a position as she desired they would both have to receive and reciprocate. More Natu than Daenery's for she was Alpha after all and privy to her own business where Natu was not.

In the stillness between them she felt the heavy weight of expectancy. The hushed knowledge that something was about to be brought forth and unveiled to the dawn's sunlight. It should not come as a surprise when Daenery's asks about Sven. Well, more demands in her quiet way an explanation of the events, for Natu is certain she does not want to know just about Sven but about his existence in the mountains. Why his mother had cried to find her lost son and why he happened to be in the care of one who had lived here many years now.

She lets the silence hang once more as she ponders how to begin the story. Daenery's would judge how she saw fit and only honesty could be had here between them. If it ruined her chances then so be it for her mind must come clean of her guilt and her heart, already lightened by Sven's choice, must be washed in the light.

Natu leans her body forward now, closer to Daenery's, and dips her crown so that Daenery's can see clearly the puckered scar above her right eye and the equally jagged marks on her right shoulder blade. "Before you came along I had been planning a life of diplomacy. It is hard, you realize, to establish diplomatic airs to a group that you have the utmost hate for?" Now she turns her eyes back to Dany once more.

"I was wandering in the freelands enjoying a beautiful day such as this. I felt remarkably happy that day in a way I have not felt for some time, for on such days I can forget the pain of my lost children and my mate and enjoy the act of living. Lillith happened upon me and I fell for her schemes, her sick smile, and when I turned my back she set upon me. Unfortunately I happened to be at the edge of a fissure near the Grotto and what she didn't tear on my shoulders was bruised and cut from my fall. I had a choice then. To stay in this life or go. Ailith was the one who found me, who brought me back, who helped me let go. But my anger was not so easy to release."

Now she sighs, a release. "I found that as my wounds healed I would get dizzy and forget spells of time, awakening in places where I had no business being. In places I don't remember getting to. It is on one of those spells that I found two children in the woods. To this day, Daenerys, I do not know what happened. I can still remember the look of horror on Sven's face when I woke at my den with his little body quivering inside. It is a feeling unlike any other. I hated myself. He told me I had killed his brother and for so long we both believed it. But his brother is alive, only I took his only good eye in a struggle for the child that now lives with me."

And now she feels it, the way her eyes have clouded with tears for she remembers vividly what happened. "It is no consolation to me, for I have taken from both of them things I cannot give back. But I didn't know where Sven went and he did not know. I kept my ear open but I never heard tale of a mother missing her son - well, I thought it was sons. I was a coward, I think. If I had looked harder perhaps I might have found her before now. I love Sven, my Queen, as if he were my own child, and although I do not expect his love he has forgiven me for the sins that I committed, the sins I have no memory of."