Pregnancy was not a comfortable thing. As my abdomen had swelled with the growing of the unplanned whelps within, I had become less and less able to complete my daily tasks as alpha. I had been reduced to enjoying basking in the late winter sun – that which slowly warmed each day to tell of the coming of spring. My head lifted from where it lay upon my throne and I gazed at the shifting of my sides that had been unbidden. I winced slightly as one of them kicked out, but I merely stared on in curiosity. They were getting quite large, indeed. The whole ordeal had weighed heavily on my mind, about how being a mother might change me, about whether I was even fit to be a mother. And what of Leonidas? Would he ever know his children? Would they grow to hate him even as Taliesin loathed Fenrir? Despite being surrounded by a pack I was ever proud of, I felt completely alone. Would my pups know such loneliness? Surely there was more than one in there, so at least they would never be completely alone. They would always have each other.

Of course it had not gone unnoticed, the way that Natu and Church’s sides swelled in such a similar way to my own. They, too, were evidently with child. So my pups would know childhood friendships beyond the reach of their siblings. Such a thought warmed my heart, and my mind passed to thoughts of Natu once more. I had been thrilled for her when her pregnancy had been realized, though she had been so distant of late that I’d never had the chance to congratulate her. Only seeing her from afar before she disappeared to seek out Fenrir once more did not allow for such interactions. It pained me, and I felt the flutter of our friendship quickly dissipating. I had thought, that day when she had first brought me news of the four elder rogue males, that perhaps she would grow to become more than just my Spider. I was saddened to realize that such was not the case. I had mulled over Pan’s suggestions on how to handle the situation with Fenrir and Natu, and settled upon which of his ideas were the best. But another option, a fourth avenue that might prove most beneficial for all involved– and most importantly the pack - had occurred to me. Pan had been right – I could not do what was best for my emotions, or those of Taliesin or Natu. I was a leader, and a leader put her people before her in all things.

It was Natu’s own call that had my ear twitching to the side, listening to the summons she played upon the winter breeze. Deeply I inhaled, knowing that the time had finally presented itself for my decision to be made public. So heavy with child, I had been unable to go out searching for Natu when I hadn’t the first clue where to look for her. Despite my overall confusion and worrisome nature about my pregnancy, I would not endanger them to go out searching for a member of my pack that I wasn’t even sure wanted to be here anymore. Perhaps this would settle such an issue once and for all. Slowly I rose, flashing a narrowed glance at my abdomen once more as the largest of the pups struck out again. He was a feisty sort, to be sure. Where once I would have typically leapt with youthful grace from my throne, today I was forced to slowly make my way down the backside of the rock, where it sloped gently towards the ground. And then I set off at a slow jog, making my way towards the call of my Spider, wondering if today would be the last day I would be able to call her such.

I made no rush towards them, moving at a pace that was comfortable for me. But in due time I reached the wooded area where Natu waited for me, and I slowed to a walk as I approached her. My face betrayed nothing of the regret I felt as having somehow lost her, or the pain that my own whelps were causing me as they kicked out in protest of their confines. Instead a placid, neutral expression of welcoming to my pack mate was displayed. I greeted her as I ever would a pack mate, moving forward to press my shoulder into hers before stepping back once more. Both of our forms were rather cumbersome, but the motion was made the same as it always had been. I glanced over Natu’s shoulder towards the black figure of Fenrir, nodding briefly to him to acknowledge his presence. Returning my gaze to the icy eyes of the shewolf before me, I offered the smallest of smiles. “Come Natu, it concerns both of you, and I will not exclude him in this,” I said. I was not unreasonable, though my emotions had fluctuated as quickly as the rolling of the sea in recent weeks. That was not a side of myself I wished my pack to know, and so I had come here with determination in my heart to remain unbiased in all that would occur.

Only when Natu was ready did I move away from where I had greeted her, heading side by side back towards the borders were Fenrir stood respectfully. Again I offered him a courteous greeting, inclining my head slightly before shifting my gaze once back and forth between Natu and Fenrir. Though I did not wish to seem overly officious in my offer, I knew there was nothing more for it than to deliver what I had to say. Slowly my eyes moved between them, settling on each in turn as I spoke. “I am one who knows the value of family, and it is clear that you have begun to create one for yourselves. Joyous though I am for you both in this, I must think of the implications such a thing has for my pack. Not for either of you or for myself or any singular member of Spirane, but for the mountain’s population on the whole. Natu, you and your pups will be pack; the spirit of the mountain born into them is the gift I offer you. Fenrir, you are of a self proclaimed brotherhood, that which has made some sort of roots without Asteraia. For you to come and go from my pack lands as you please is something I cannot allow. I would not deem it normal for any rogue to come within my lands unannounced, unknown to the rest of my pack. In saying that, I would not be one to suppose that I could deprive you from one another, nor would that be my wish. I am willing to afford you an area within the pack lands where you may den together – there is a structure there which I know to be safe and habitable. Fenrir, you would be allowed to come and go from one specific crossing point, and venture no further into the pack lands than the area I offer you, therefore preventing any interruption to the lives of those who call Spirane their true home.” It was entirely possible that this would come across as far too stringent, but it was the offer I had to make. My gaze came to rest upon Fenrir, curious of his reaction to being put in such constraints. But it offered him the opportunity to prevent the undue stress that moving would put upon Natu, and would allow her to remain within the place that she had come to call home. But this decision was not his alone to make. My eyes shifted back to Natu, gaze ever neutral as I awaited their reaction. Only when such had been ascertained would I consider telling them the second possibility. The option that might change everything for more than just we three who stood here.