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Posted on January 23, 2015 at 02:39:59 AM by Hush
html by dante for smooshie. | |
| “…cope.”
It should have warned her that what was coming was beyond anything she could have imagined. “…mourning…” Even then she still didn’t expect what came next: Roamin was dead. Their son was gone. Forever. The words came and went, blooming on Coza’s tongue and dying in her ears, leaving only a shrill, persistent ringing in their wake. And all she could do was stare at him, as if by widening her eyes and pinning her ears against her skull could make them any less true. As if by looking at him hard enough she could make him unsay the thing, could make it go away, unmake it altogether. But it hung between them, it clung to her consciousness like an anchor, dragging her down and down and away from everything else. And still she stared. Her throat was dry and she could feel the denial on her lips, but she knew that there could be no denying it. Were it another wolf, someone less equable in his honesty, she would have raged, demanded proof, or simply walked away. But not Coza. Not him. She knew he would never even consider a joke about anything like this; he would never give her such grim news without knowing that it was true. She managed something between a sigh and a cough, a sound without words, and Hush dragged her eyes from his face to the trees. She found no comfort in them. Their branches raked the sky like bones. She screamed then. It came unbidden and she was powerless to stop it or to put a word into it and when it was gone it left her with only pain. The tears came next and she sank to the ground, pressed into the dirt by the weight of the nothingness that was all she had left of her son. Roamin was dead. Her pride was dead. She didn’t care if the whole of Moladion bore witness to her tears. They choked her, though she tried to speak; she was incapable of anything more than a string of inarticulate sounds: “N – it – Coza…please - ” Please, what? There was nothing she could ask for, or that he could do, to make it easier, to make it better, to make it any less than what it was. Finally, she looked up again, chest and abdomen still heaving between breaths. Her voice was raspy when it came, and so quiet. “I – I should have…I should have been - ” She shook her head, fighting for the words that didn’t want to come out. “I was supposed to be here!” She stood now, possessed by the surprising power of her own voice, moved into action. She had to do something. Hush paced briefly, frantic steps that took her nowhere, but ultimately there was nothing she could do: she’d been denied even a mother’s vengeance. Her violet eyes, dark with grief and wet with tears, latched themselves onto Coza’s, and she crumbled when she saw her pain mirrored there. “I should have stopped it. Oh god, Coza – I was supposed to be here…Roamin - ” Her voice cracked, the moment of lucidity gone, and she pressed herself into Coza’s neck, lost to the sounds that could not become words. Why her son? this boy, this perfect boy? Who could take away a life like Roamin’s? Perfect in his innocence and his kindness and his infinite curiosity about the world. What kind of monster could move to snuff that flame? She found no peace in knowing that his killer was gone. She found no peace in knowing that he was, at least, not suffering. She wanted blood to atone for this, and revenge at anyone else’s hands didn’t feel much like anything except more loss. But there was no amount of blood, and no amount of tears, that would ever bring Roamin back to her…and that was the worst of it all. | |
| hush. Gavriel, Delya, Kellin Reian, Mireille, Namira, Calyx | they sing in clever tongues oh, how my knees go weak to be the one; |
Replies:
- Don't let the wolf into your bed - By Sen January 24, 2015 at 05:44:40 AM
Rising~●~Sun - By Coszcotl January 27, 2015 at 02:10:53 PM
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