Life had been a blur as of late, days blending together as her children seemed to grow at speeds she didn’t think possible. Curled around them in the evenings with only the light of the moon to make out their forms she imaged she could see their legs elongating, their ears standing up, chests filling out. Had they truly been so small not long ago? It was amazing to witness and something she would never take for granted. The birth had taken its toll on the golden woman; in the weeks following her weight had dropped drastically despite the almost constant meals her Moon brought to the den. Even as the children were beginning to wean, eating meat partially digested by their parents her ribs still showed through on her dies.

She had been secluded to the den area, spending her afternoons basking in the warm springtime sun and trying to soak up as much of her playful pups as possible, knowing such times might no last as long as she wished. With time she improved, but even now her strength was sparse and if she tussled with her pups too much she was quickly winded. Despite it all she was catch more than a bit of cabin fever as spring began its slow decent in to summer. The den became to cramped, her beautiful small field of flowers became full of pollen that made her sneeze, and she found her gaze wandering across the lands below the mountain with an odd sort of longing. After a few days contemplation she finally broached an idea to Ragnarok.

Throughout the spring she had hear the howls of other wolves announcing the birth of pups to this family or that, the white she wolves Natu and Everlyse had both birthed if what she heard was true, though Natu had gone back to Asteraia with the brothers where Everlyse was also if memory served. After some discussion she finally convinced her love that she was well enough to travel and that the pups would do well to get out and see more of their world, not that they didn’t wander off enough already.

The trek across Moladion and toward those all too familiar hills was nothing spectacular, save for Church constantly trying to keep her pups in order, sending Ragnarok off to herd them back in the right direction when they got distracted. Curious things they were, though her genes may well be to blame for that. Her strength was waning by the time they passed the borders of the hill country, knowing that she still was called friend by the alphas of the land she didn’t bother pausing and waiting for permission. Without hesitation she led her little clan toward the den site of the brothers, each next to the other set in the hillside. As they neared she heard a piercing howl, one that sent a chill straight through her very bones and stopped her in her tracks. Bear. She cast a concerned look to her soul, seeking the reassurance of his icy gaze before continuing on slowly, pushing the children behind her as they walked to ensure they didn’t go sprinting ahead into whatever lay over the next hill.

As the scene before them finally came in to view her heart stopped. It was turmoil more akin to a war scene than anything else. They arrived just as the final blows came and felled the bear, its muscles still spasming across its huge carcass, the sheer size of it distracting her so much so that for a moment she doesn’t notice the carnage it has caused. Only then does her sea-green gaze zero in on the golden form draped like a sash across berth of the bear, crippled in ways that no wolf could overcome. Her breath catches, time seeming to slow as she sees the labored heaving of his sides, the pain etched in his eyes as they finally meet hers across an impossible distance. In that moment a piece of her heart shatters, for though she had made her choice she had loved him once to the best of her ability and seeing the light leaving that azure gaze was something she had not dreamt of experiencing. "No…” she breathed the word, as if her simple protestation could change the fates design.

Only then does she spot the golden form of her son making a beeline for it all, having taken advantage of her distraction and skirted both his parents. “Constantine!” she shouts, her voice twisted with the fear only a mother could channel, not for fear of the bear that undoubtedly lay dead but the fear of how other wolves might react to the bedlam; grief could drive wolves into hysteria she knew all too well. She casts her remaining children a steely gaze, “Stay with your father,” she directs them, closing her eyes and touching her nose into the silvery cheek of her mate before rushing down the hill. All of her aches and pains long forgotten as she sees the small form of him turn from the diminished form of Neirin to the hulking black brother.

She slides to a stop behind her son, though she is petite in comparison to the black male her form bristles with anxiousness as she stands over him with ears back in uncertainty. “Constantine I should have your hide for running off like that,” she growls, biting back the urge to take him by the neck like a newborn and drag him back to the rest. Death of their own kind was not something she had wanted her children to experience for quite some time, not knowing how it might affect each of them in turn. A mother wants nothing more than to shelter her children from the horrors of the world, yet here they are each exposed. She nuzzles the top of his golden head, not aware of the revelations he has experienced this day, before turning giving a short bark, inviting the rest of her family down to join the others. The scene was safer than she had expected, with the exception of the scent unfurling with Everlyse and Ifrit, her heart went out to her friend but it seemed she was well cared for. Her sea-green gaze travels back to Fenrir, “I’m sorry for your loss,” she manages, knowing it was a lame statement considering.

Fenrir goes to distract himself with the task of skinning the bear and she nudges Constantine toward his other siblings and the smattering of pups and grown wolves on the edges of the war-zone.