I wasn't particularly bothered by my mother's grieving, even though I didn't understand why she was so sad. I was worried for her, though, and worried that my presence wouldn't be enough to make her better. Worried that she would be like this forever. I saw what Everlyse was like in the wake of Ifrit's death, and I didn't want my mother to ever be like that. I swore I would never subject her to such suffering, and I found myself growing darkly angry with whoever did this to her. My white eyes closed as I snuggled further against her, feeling each ragged breath as she breathed in and out, and for a moment that was my entire world. I briefly remembered a time where it had really been my entire existence, before my eyes had opened, and before I had known there was a world outside of my mother's heartbeat and breaths.
But just like that, it was gone, and I opened my eyes once more, and the extent of the world flooded back. My tail gave a few thumps against the ground as my mother pulled back, and I trained my gaze on her lips, my useless ears folded listlessly against my skull. I love you. I understand those words, and the meaning of them is warmth and happiness, and I grin as I repeat them back to her. "I love... you." I don't really care much for speaking, but I know it will make her happy to hear those words from me.
I huffed halfheartedly as she licked me on the head, though my siblings were not around so I wasn't forced to act like I was disgusted with my mother's affection. Though I do give a sidelong glance to make sure that they are indeed, not around to see. I cocked my head curiously as my mother continued to speak (or mouth, I couldn't tell the difference).
I wagged my tail slightly at her apology. It wasn't needed, I knew that she probably felt bad for being inconsolable, but I was just glad she wasn't sobbing anymore. Tears still leaked from her eyes, but at least she was able to talk to me now. My eyes still trained on her lips as she began to explain why she had acted in such a manner. "Gone." I said with a curious tilt of my head, I wanted it to sound like a question but I wasn't exactly sure how to make my voice sound like that. "Like... Ifrit, Neirin." I elaborated, feeling a little frustrated that I couldn't really get my point across. Was he dead, was what I meant, but I didn't know how to put that in words.
Her next words filled with sadness, and my expression turned somber. I licked underneath her chin, trying to reassure her that she wouldn't loose me like she had her other son. "No. I said, pulling back and shaking my head. No, she would not loose me, I would make sure of that. I wouldn't be the one to put my mother through this pain, and again I found myself filled with fury towards this Sven, the son that had made my mother cry. I supposed that made him my brother, but any wolf who caused my mother such pain was no brother to me.
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