Settling in Spirane was a difficult thing to do because I had grown so used to being a loner with Grayson. Life was different with him having lost a leg but damned if I would make things harder than they had to be. A lead healer I would be, I had decided on a whim, and I took off into the wild lands in search of whatever I needed to accomplish it. Maybe that was a lie, maybe I came out here because I felt free once more. Pack life, even short lived, was confining. I stretch my stout legs, jerking my neck high into the air and stretching my body. Then I begin to collect my supplies, humming to myself as I try to search high and low in the dying country for herbs that were on their last leg before winter. No need to just give up hope if one didn't check you know? Despite my rudeness I considered myself clever in that sort of way.

It is as I complete my tasks, singing myself a song (and I suck at singing naturally), that a howl rises from the forest. It is my mother and the song is... pained. I drop what I have to lift my head, scenting the wind as my heart beats furiously within my chest, fear for her and for whatever had happened. Her lament is beseeching so I race in that direction, supplies forgotten in a heap upon the winter floor. My mouth parts as I gasp air and taste blood on the wind. It slams shut with an audible snap when I scramble upon the scene; dead doe, dead female, and now dead... father? "DAD!?" My voice rises suddenly into a scream, disbelieving, and my pale eyes turn to look upon the crying figure of my brother as he huddles next to my mother.

"No, no, no, I can fix this," I say but I don't even know I'm saying it as I dart towards my dad, swallowing audibly when I see the mess that is his neck. I pretend I don't see how still his body is, my head pushing my dads as I sniff his neck and begin to lick it with fervor. "Just some salt water.. maybe.. something to pack it, it'll be okay dad, Itll be okay," I mumble uselessly, ignoring my mom and brother, ignoring the scene, because maybe I've snapped a little. It is only when I look at them, seeing their eyes on me, that I break, my face crumpling into an ugly mess as I sink to my belly in front of my mother.

Her misery, I can see it and I sense what is going to happen. I HEAR Levi mention it and I growl suddenly. "She isn't going anywhere Levi so shut up! She is here, we are here, it'll be okay Mom, I'll make it okay." But the tears, they pour down because my voice might be bossy, it might be strong, but it is only because it hides my panic. I can't lose them both, I won't. I'm sorry, my brother says, and I can almost feel his pain but I can't. I can't deal with it and mine and so I ignore it, like I have always done, as I stare hard at my mother, demanding she stay. "Momma, we love you," it comes out before I can stop it, sounding like a young girl once more, begging, knowing it was too late.