" no happy endings "

{ cynbel } - { brute } - { old alpha of a land far away } - { loveless } - { child of delaria }



Back in his dreams, all he could see was his homeland. It was a better time, much calmer and peaceful. His Queen by his side, his lovely Ygraine. His advisor and best friend, gentle Nimueh. They had all been laying in his den. Ygraine and him had been trying for pups but they could ever get lucky enough. Cynbel knew of one lupine who could help in this situation- miss Nimueh. She knew all there was about herbs and plants, she knew which ones could heal and which ones could kill. He'd then asked her one simple yet dangerous question, if she could get Ygraine pregnant- or help so with herbs. Cynbel always deep down had a loving regard for Nimueh. But when he had met Ygraine everything had changed. His life- he was becoming Alpha. His father stepped down and he became the leader of his pack. Their childhood had been great, at least for him. He'd taken Nimueh under his wing, keeping her out of harms way. Cyn couldn't imagine a closer friend. The other pups respected him highly and always kept out of his way. They loved to tease his friend, however. That would not stand in his world. Everything was rested on his choice of friends. He kept her close, he kept her in his heart. And after everything had gone down.. he missed her. He missed the nights they would stay up on that one hill, talking about how he would become alpha. He missed the way whenever he would be stressed she'd nuzzle into his shoulder and tell him everything was alright. Dammit, he even missed when she was angry. Nowadays, that's probably all she was. Hurt, betrayed. Cyn knew that better than anyone. It wasn't a great time. He could barely bring himself to think about his mate anymore. Everything still hurt, but Cyn knew he needed to move on and fast.

It wasn't long before he eventually had to open his eyes. But it wasn't because he wanted too. It was because small pebbles suddenly rained over his thick coat. They got trapped under his fur, causing him discomfort. Annoyance spread through his body but before he could express it, an icy voice filled his ears. It couldn't be. His mind raced and his heart thumped wildly. It couldn't be Nimueh, no way had he struck that much luck by sleeping. He proved himself wrong by looking up at the girl he once called his best friend. It really was her. He recognized her beautiful coat, currently dripping from being in the water. It was her voice that had surprised him. The only time he'd heard it so cold was when she would talk to the other pups. Not to him. It was light and airy when the lass would have talked. His bulky frame slowly struggled up into a sitting position, his back right leg jutting out in an awkward position. An old break that had never fully healed. "You need to leave" he remembered those were similar to what he had said. His had been filled with much more anger. Cyn couldn't speak for a moment, he was struck to the bone with.. emotion. Too many to count. All he did was stare at her, scanning her every feature. She seemed much more.. professional and stoic now. No longer the carefree lupine that he had known.

Nimueh

That simple name, that's all that left his maw. He had to know, though he already did. She knew his name, she knew him. He'd hurt her, now she hated him. At least, so he thought. That night, he knew the rage and hatred burning in his own eyes. But he could never hate her. Cyn still thought of her as the little miss who he kept close. The boy blinked a few times, his tail completely still. His muscular body then stood, shaking out the random gravel that was still lodged in his fur. Something clicked in his brain, telling him to go back to the way he was- himself. A smile suddenly danced across his kissers, a gentle light entering his eyes. Their honey kissed glow was brightening. Before you speak, Nim, I need to speak myself he spoke, his tail swinging while his ears carefully flattened against hos skull. He was no threat to her. The way he spoke, he still had the voice of an alpha. Just not the reliability any longer.

I left. I left the pack to the beta. I couldn't.. being there just.. why couldn't he find the correct words here? Annoyance filled his mind again and he shook his head. You're not going to listen to any apology I have. You're far too stubborn for that. I don't blame you for Ygraines death. I know it wasn't your fault. he looked at her, judging her body language. He stood up straight, looking away and off into the distance. But hear me out. I am sorry, what I did was out of anger, out of mourning. Ygraine died from natural causes, not from any plants you had given her. I no longer wish to lead that pack. he finally finished. The king closed his eyes and bowed his head, knowing that she might yell, she might just leave. That was the thing about Nimueh, he could never predict what she would do. A bitter chuckle then left his body, allowing his chest to heave a bit. Ironic, with Ygraine gone.. it feels like I never loved her. That she was a figment of my imagination. The only real thing? he questioned, lowering his head to the ground. Is you. he struggled with the words. Instead of saying anything more, he sat back down and glanced out over the water. It's crystal clear state was enough to soothe his mind and let him be comfortable with his thoughts and what he had spoken.

im on my way