IP: 24.59.129.5
Posted on September 27, 2017 at 01:47:54 AM by TARQUiN
For awhile, Quinn had felt that he had simply wanted more than Echidna wanted to give. He knew that she had been willing to give more, and she had, but that wasn't the same as wanting those things like he did. And the fact remained that realizing all that had caused a strain for Quinn. It wasn't Echidna's fault, and maybe Quinn had just let himself be blind to it all for so long. Then there were the ways in which he had been the one that changed, became something different from what he had been at the start. Yet even with that, Quinn had been at the tipping point, that spot that was balanced between what he had been and what he was becoming, and that should have been seen, right?
Perhaps they had both put things aside that they did not fully realize, and honestly Quinn was beginning to think more and more that he simply was not built for the kind of lifestyle any of them wanted. At this point, Quinn honestly had no idea what would work for him. That was part of the reason why he needed to figure out who he even was right now. Try to get into what made him tick, because here and now, none of it was really holding him up. Not the jobs or ambitions, not the power; none of that was doing him any good as far as making him feel any kind of content. He did not feel that here. Perhaps it was this place in general; it felt dead in ways he did not know how to explain. He couldn't shake it.
At least he had a friend through it all, because right now, that felt like it was the only thing good about this place. And he had tried, really tried to feel like this world would be enough. This place had seemed so full of opportunities before, and now it all felt like ash. Yet he couldn't go, because he wasn't sure what that would mean. He did not know the answers to questions that he had, and those kept him feeling trapped; and having the expectation-less friendship with Echidna was the only thing currently keeping him from letting his misery take over. All this time he had been floating on by, acting like it was okay, or good enough, or just not as bad as it was. That wasn't something he could pretend any longer.
He was messed up and there was nothing he could really do about it. Except muddle on through and try to fix whatever was broken so he could go on again. Feel more like himself. Or maybe there simply weren't any more goals that he had any real interest to reach for. He knew full well what his reasons for power and skill and being known was, but when it was the root of his problem, those things just got washed away. So finding out who he was and what exactly he wanted was his goal now, and it could be done anywhere, in any world. Perhaps it wouldn't even hurt to have his powers all stripped away to find out who he was without them all. Maybe he didn't need to go that far, but how did he know for sure?
Quinn focuses for now on Echidna's new shift, the way the teeth feel under his fingers and the curiousity of what kind of bite it would bring. It's probably too much for his tastes with such a large jaw, and probably a whole locking that went with a bite. Still, it's an interesting thing. After he had posed the question, he removed his hand from teeth, and he grins a little at Echidna's answer. She was telling him that the hunting wasn't as fun either, and Quinn could see that point. He liked having his speed, even if it was speed over strength -- though he had both of those here and now -- and liked to stay active. Being submerged in water all day didn't sound fun, either. And he had known that feeling here with the water.
He wouldn't want to relive that, because he was all in all a land creature. He did not think that would ever change, nor did he care for it to. The thoughts came and went, and Echidna was shifting to jaguar form and sprinting for the bank. He moved back up to her, smiling with a nod when she spoke of liking that shift much better. Then she was telling him that she wasn't sure where the shift had come from, that she hadn't been able to shift that way since she was a kid in the north. "Powers come and go and sometimes it goes for awhile and returns later, and sometimes it's something new." He said lightly, thinking about the abilities he'd once had, and the ones that were new to him here and now. It was strange.
But there were other thoughts that branched off of those ones. "Could you imagine the power we would have if we had it all at once? The full collection of all we've ever had?" And he raised his eyebrows at Echidna with that comment, watching how she was rolling around on her back. He reached out to feel her fur at his fingers and thinking about the times they had laid curled with one another in their feline forms. The lonely feeling that hit him with those thoughts was like a kick to the gut, and he looked at the sky for a moment, musing to himself. "I don't like being submerged in water for long. I had a leopard seal shift once, though. It was weird. So was the elephant one, though." Were the light words.
Replies:
- buried with metonymy - By Echidna October 2, 2017 at 06:41:11 AM
- *buried in memory; - By TARQUiN October 2, 2017 at 09:25:34 AM
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