He isn’t sure what he expected from her. In honesty - a state in which he finds himself rarely - he isn’t sure what he expected from himself; he isn’t a dad, just a father. Just a semi-anonymous sperm-donor, and until recently this was as much stock as he wanted to take in his daughter’s life. And maybe he has changed - he scowls, cutting off that nonsense thought before it can unravel completely. He is growing older, he wants to ensure his daughter is succeeding.
Success is, and always will be, the only measure worth anything to Jasper, no matter what else may change.
He can see the moment of recognition in her face; her eyes clear, suddenly, and a vague look settles across her features. Jasper recognises the look - it is one of his own, after all, one which he uses when he is irritated but unable to get away. It is a look that only Draco has ever seen. Apt, he supposes, a smirk flitting through his eyes, that the expression he holds solely for his father is used by his daughter for him. They are perhaps more alike than either are pleased about.
She copies him, when she replies; the words directed into his mind, not his ears. He can sense that she is trying to seem uninterested, distracted, but there is a hardness to the word ‘dad’ that he pretends to ignore, though it needles at him and he does not wish to acknowledge the reason. Sadie, at his feet, cocks her head at Saffron; Jasper has allowed the dog into his mind whilst distracted by his daughter and she is less interested in conforming to the social constraints these fairies have put upon themselves. She barks, but a sharp glare from her fairy silences her, and she settles onto the ground, concealing a whimper.
She is pathetic, he muses.
He takes half a step closer to Saffron, feeling the unease and uncertainty that rolls over her like a fog. He pushes back against the emotions, threads of calmness attempting to weave themselves around her as he tries to relax her; but he is so used to wanting them uneasy and unsettled that the feelings are broken and scattered from him. He looks at the girl, his daughter, and he suddenly realises that he doesn’t want anything from her. He isn’t used to this. But he can hide those thoughts, he is well practiced in the art, and with a twinkle in his eyes - a twinkle that may look to mean amusement, though from Jasper is usually means a plan is being laid - he replies, “I don’t want anything. Just thought a visit was due, don’t you agree?”
He remembers how to be his true self, for his true self is the darkness and the carelessness. But maybe his true self is beginning to change, and that is not a welcome thought.
J A S P E R
i'm waking up.
|
|