Look, I’ll level with you. I’ve never actually met a giant toothy pup-eating predator before. I’ve come across legitimately scary things before, like colourful bugs (that means they’re poisonous, right??), birds of prey and one time I met my dad and honestly I don’t think I’ll ever recover.

Actual wolf-eating-wolf, though? That’s new to me. Can you blame me for not knowing exactly how to behave? Mum never prepared me for this!

I said that to mum once when a leaf landed on my back (I thought it was a snake, in fairness to me), and Thalia said there was nothing in the universe which could prepare me for anything. Thalia’s rude.

When the wolf rolls onto her back, I don’t know what to do. Thalia used to do that when she wanted to play. Is this a trick? A sign of submission? Something else my mum never taught me? At my apology, the wolf flips onto her front and shuffles towards me again, her mouth wide and toothy. I automatically start to back up, but at this point I’m so deep in the lake that if I go back much further I will actually drown. As it is, I’m having to crane my neck upwards to keep my chin above water. She’s twitching her tail at me, baring her teeth. Is she going to attack??

Her voice lifts over the – compliment? What? Wait, is she… laughing?

I stare at her, not sure what to do. She drops her mouth to the water’s edge and starts to blow bubbles across it. It hits me that her tail isn’t twitching, it’s waving - like, hello. And she’s showing her teeth because she’s smiling, not snarling.

I don’t know what to do. Is this genuine? Am I being lulled into a false sense of security? Where the heck is mum when I need her?!

I swallow, my mouth dry even though I took a drink like ten seconds ago. Either this wolf is crazy, or she’s trying to calm me down so I’m not all tense and nasty when she sinks her jaws into me. Frankly, I’m not sure which option I prefer. I take a couple of tentative steps forward in the water – not a lot, just enough that my spine is now above the surface. Contrary to what Thalia says, I do have a spine.

What do I say? Her question is weird and I don’t know how to answer it. Why would anyone do that on purpose? When will the world start making sense? When will I be able to go a sentence without adding half a dozen question marks??

“Um…” I say, because I’m really articulate like that. I swallow again. “Aren’t you going to eat me?”

LEFTERIS
homeless year-old cub. bugs suck.