Go to Spirane, they said. You’ll have great fun at the party, they said.

Ugh.

Right, okay. So if you haven’t met me by now, my name’s Lefty and I’m a walking disaster. I got separated from my family a couple months back and Melly-do or whatever you call this place, and now I just sort of bum around and try not to accidentally kill myself. In spite of how much I suck at it, I kind of like living and I want to keep doing it. I’ve not made a great impression on anyone since arriving here (apart from Eto, who seems to think I’m some kind of professional clown), so a party for two year-olds sounded like a good opportunity for me to meet people in a safe setting and not have anyone rolls their eyes at me. Right? Right.

Unfortunately, nobody’s directions told me I was going to have to cross a river to get there.

I stand at the water’s edge, ears and tail drooping. My sister Thalia would probably have just plunged in and swum to the other side with the sheer power of bravery, but I’m about as brave as I am handsome (that is, not at all). I drop my head and whine, sort of hoping that an answer might magically present itself, before sighing and turning away. Oh well. I guess no partying for me, then.

As I turn, something catches my eye and I prick my head and ears. There! A log has fallen across the river a little further up and got wedged between some rocks. I dash along the river back towards it, my tongue lolling excitedly out of my mouth. It kind of looks stable? My heart’s pounding in my chest, but the promise of meeting people who might actually like me spurs me to do something that I never normally would. I reach out with one paw and prod the log cautiously, checking it will bear my weight, before I step fully onto it. Water rushes around it, spraying me and dampening my fur, which would otherwise be standing on end. I take a deep breath and start across, keeping my eyes fixed on the other side of the river. Right leg, left leg. Just one paw in front of the other. I can do this.

A snapping sound makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I can’t do this!

I start to backpeddle along the bit I know is safe, but it’s too late. The log collapses beneath me and I’m plunged into the gushing water. It’s in my mouth and ears and throat before I even have time to panic. I struggle back up to the surface and splutter, trying to gulp down some air, but it’s hard when you’re moving at a thousand miles per hour in some raging rapids. Desperately, I make pinwheel actions with my legs, but I can’t fight the river.

Wouldn’t you know it, the river runs right past the location of the party, because I’m the luckiest puppy in the world (sarcasm). I get thrown under the water again, and this time when my head breaks the surface I spot them. Five of them, all clustered around on the sweet dry land next to the river, looking a thousand percent cooler than me.

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!” I shriek as I wash past them, a mess of thrashing limbs.

LEFTERIS
homeless two year-old cub. bugs suck.