She was everything he remembered and more. Their time apart had softened the edges of her appearance, the madness had blurred them. But when she stood before him now, all of that fell away, and all he could think of was: there you are. And there she was, in the last place he wanted her to be. Even as he growled he pushed himself backwards, away from her. No, no, anyone but her. Please, gods, don't let me hurt her. Don't let her make me what I am.
She said his name like a prayer, and his fragile heart shattered into pieces. Who else could look at the monster he was now and see who he was, what he had been? Riviera had always looked straight through to his core. Her no-nonsense ways had hidden away a heart of gold, bruised though it may be. She'd been his friend, his ally, his... In that awful, reeking cave he realized the thing he'd been denying for so long, the last thing he wanted to feel marking his blackened soul. Gods above, he loved her. With each beat of this blasted heart, he loved her. Her familiar, Neri, was a child-like soul he'd never wanted to hurt, but rather, had always dreamt of lifting up, of cherishing. And now... now he could only pray he wouldn't hurt them.
But he felt the madness building. No matter how far he ran, no matter how much he tried to hide, that terrible part of him would turn right around and come right for the ones he loved, would rip them to pieces if he didn't stop this now. His feral orange eyes slipped close, a breath shuddering from his lips as he gathered his resolve. He clamped down on every bit of him that was human, pulled it free from the madness like a single ray of light. His monstrous form twisted, contorted in a way that was both blissful and pure agony, until he crouched, panting. His hair was long and unkempt, his eyes wild with pain and love for her and Nerissa. He held his hands out, open, his eyes beseeching.
"Kill me, Riv," he croaked out from between dry, cracked lips. "Do it now, before..." He shuddered, feeling the desperate need to change already coursing through his blood. He smiled, sadness and pain and longing and loss writing themselves across his face. "I'll come back someday. Somehow." He gasped at the agony, fighting the urge to change shape. "Please. I can't hold on for much longer"
He closed his eyes, would not make her carry the sight of the light dying in them inside her.
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