It all felt so surreal, like a nightmare, like it didn’t happen, but he knew it did, what he had done, why he had done it and that he didn’t regret. He didn’t think at least. Blood soaked his white maw and chest, standing starkly against his otherwise monochrome form. He carried a single yellow lily, though why he could barely remember. His brain felt numb, he didn’t have the mind to clean himself of his deed, all he could think was he needed to go home, tell his father, then tell Shem and his mother. He had found Moteuh, she was not dead, not by Aranck’s paw at least, but his own. His own… He always knew he was not true to the Aztecs, that was why he had to leave Taviora, because every time he looked at his grandfather he only saw the suffering he felt as he got older, the slower gate the pain in his joints and the separation from his imprint. Pain, so much pain. He wanted to end it for him, but knew he was weak, he couldn’t, so he ran away to see if he could understand himself, his purpose better with his father. He certainly didn’t feel out of place, but this winter had been stressful, his imprint gotten herself pregnant and still yet he didn’t know his place in Glorall or anywhere else. He didn’t know his purpose. Now though he thought maybe he did, and it didn’t come at no cost to himself.

It seemed so unlikely. He was out, scouting the lands, everything had been so quiet after all he wanted to see what was going on. He neared Moladion’s fringes, explored all the nooks and crannies when finally he had found the cave den and tucked inside was a mangled form. He thought based on how twisted it had been it was a dead wolf, long gone and decaying, but then it spoke raspy tones calling him by a name he didn’t know until it saw it wasn’t who it had been expecting, it had been very much no one she had been expecting. Asriel remember standing frozen as he looked at the broken body of a wolf he didn’t think should have been alive. The raspy breaths of excitement seeing someone new but her markings her color, eyes everything but her body and personality radiated something so unfamiliar. No recognition flashed in her eyes, but in his he knew exactly who she was. His heart pounded in his chest exhilarated before suddenly he felt it sink so deep he felt like he was just told all over again that she was dead. She was so innocent, so naive, so not his sister, yet she chittered away at him best she could with her short breath. Asking his name, and quickly giving hers which made a chill run down his spine. Moteuh. It was her, he wasn’t wrong, it wasn’t some doppelganger here before him in her body in some twisted form, but it also was. Asriel had tentatively offered his name, his golden eyes stared into orbs he hadn’t seen since his childhood, nothing, no recognition, no understanding of who he was… it was confirmation to him, his sister DID die that day, she was still dead, just trapped in this broken dying body not allowed to move on. He was pretty sure he started crying then, he remembered saying he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to, but he needed too, this was his purpose, his job to do. The world wasn’t as pure and innocent as his mother and half-sister wanted it to be. It wasn’t “Don’t Kill, and Don’t be Killed” it was “Kill, or Be Killed” and he knew it. The dark nature of the world, the one that Glorall accepted but Taviora still sat there avoiding the true way it was.

The next thing he knew he apologized, he said he loved her and he was doing this to free her before lunging forward and gripping her so easily on her tender throat. He had never killed his own kind, but he ignored her yelp, her screech of fear before he choked silence into her. He clamped and loosed, it wasn’t as clean as he wished he could have made it, uncertainty of his actions kept holding him back, he was pretty sure he was still crying, everything was blurry and he remembered his eyes stinging as he finally got the resolve to end it once in for all. As he laid in to clamp down and end it he thought he heard her speak just before he felt the blood spurt from her jugular, spraying into his mouth and tasting iron. ”As..riel… Bro..ther” before silence fell and she could speak no more as her blood began quickly pouring from her opened neck. She struggled longer as her blood left her and fell onto him. He held tight, mortified all the while at what she had said, what he had done. Finally he dropped her crippled form and backed away shaking his head at the nightmare of a scene he had created. ”It had to be done…. I had to.” He said though it was clear he was uncertain. His body moved slowly, almost ridgely as he moved back up the hill, spotting some yellow lilies, he grabbed them, and moved slowly back down, placing them on her dead form before just sitting there. He couldn’t remember how long he sat there just staring, angry, wondering why she was even alive, why he even had to do this, but it was his job, his place to do so. Blood tainted the floor so much now, and one of the lilys he had carried was sitting in the blood, he picked it up, and left.

That was his deed, and he still looked quite the monstrosity as he finally crossed Glorall’s northern border. His nose twitched, seeking out his father’s scent in particular, not in the mood to deal with anyone elses poking or prodding. He was pretty sure he had tear stains on his face still along with everything else going on to make him look like he had also just come out of the nightmare he lived. Father was coming, he could smell him, he was coming along quickly too, if there were others with him Asriel didn’t know. But his journey to deliver the news was almost over. Maybe once he shared his burden he would feel better, but then again, Asriel wondered if he ever would again. It was just like the first time, but worse… the first time broke him, so what happens when a broken thing is broke once again? What’s left? He wondered, father might have the answers. Asriel hoped so.