IP: 173.74.101.166
Posted on August 29, 2009 at 07:12:06 AM by S A S H A
 A face that awakes when I close my eyes A face watches every time I lie A face that laughs every time I fall And watches everything Name: Sasha Gender: Hermaphrodite, XXY Appearance: Black hair that seems purple in certain lighting with slightly blonded tips in the back, slightly tanned skin, bold green eyes, slim boyish body (except for the secret girl bits of course) Defects: Is being a she-male a defect? xD He has scars on his arms from his 'breakdowns' *see History Age: 19 Personality: Spiteful, sexual, angry, bitter, depressed and emotionally unstable. Sasha hates what he is. He's a horny guy, and yes he'll refer to himself as a guy, and won't settle for being called 'it' or 'her'. He'll be flirting one moment and then he'll get nasty when a comment is made about what he is, or if he's turned down. He kind of feels like the world owes him because he was born a freak. He can look sweet and nice when he wants to, but whether he ever really is so is a mystery. History: Sasha didn't get to choose what he is. His parents decided not to have him one or the other and left him as he was, and he's hated them every day for that decision. By the time he really discovered how the world was going to treat him it was too late for him to get an operation, and so now he's stuck as a freak. He has a very negative personal image, and tries to ignore his problems through sex. If he's rejected he gets angry, because he assumes it's because they think he's a freak too. However, despite all his venom and bitterness, Sasha does have feelings, and while he'll lash out and be a bitch at first he'll be on his own later and he'll have one of his 'breakdowns'. He'll find and use whatever he can to cut his skin, and he doesn't know why. When he stops arguing, or making snide comments, he's on the verge of a breakdown. Sample Post: Look at them... Sasha crossed his arms across his chest and stared down at the few fae he saw. Some of them seemed so miserable. What did they have to be miserable for? He scowled softly with a low growl, even angrier at the happy ones for being happy. Hell, he was mad at them all. They were normal. They weren't him. He tried to keep looking disappointed with them all, but found his serious expression was soon broken by an inconvenient yawn. He needed to find a place to sleep. He rolled his eyes as he set out to be social. Usually he just found someone who would be willing to trade a few hours of sex for a few hours of sleep, and a few hours was all he usually needed. True, it added to his irritability, but he deserved to be irritable. When you had sex organs of a man and a woman, life didn't do you any favors, and he hated that. Why did he have to be so different? As he got closer to the others, his sourness withdrew and was replaced with a soft smile. He was good at looking nice, appealing.. not that he had to work very hard. He was genuinely androgynous, attractive to both women and men, not that he really cared if he was attractive to women. Honestly, he had engaged in sex with women a few times, and nothing was really stopping him now accept that he was practically addicted to the other option: men. Really he would rather be a pure male, but for some reason he just preferred sex with men. So, while he did give a smile to the ladies, when he caught the gaze of a man he added a bit of a wink and a more sensual curve to his mouth. Really you could just say he was a sex addict. Somewhere along the line he had interpreted his condition as a sick and twisted purpose. If your God gives you multiple sex organs, what do you think he intends you to do, right? He took a seat on a rock, his back curved just slightly, fanning his fingers and inspecting his nails idly before dropping his hands to either side and letting out a breath of air, his knuckles tensing slightly. He had recently had one of his breakdowns, where he lost all of his normal energy and sunk to self-harm as a form of... well he didn't know what it was. Somehow it got him back to his bitter angry self where he was comfortable. His arms itched with the dried blood and wounds, but he refrained from scratching. The only time he was ever really happy was when he got laid, and some time after. He was tolerable then, likeable even, and though he would never admit it out loud he rather liked.. well, being liked. But he couldn't be like that on a usual basis, no. He hated the world too much. If you were born normal and got a screwed up life, that was your problem, but what if you were born with a screwed up life? how was that fair? That was the driving thought for most of his actions: it wasn't fair. He thought by exacting his revenge on the world he was making it fair, until he realized later when he still hated himself that it still wasn't fair. It was a vicious cycle he was trapped in. And of course, because he was such a shit most of the time people got tired of him, and nobody wanted to keep him around, and that made him even more resentful. If someone could tolerate him, love him even, take care of him in that relationship kind of way, he might be different... But at the beginning he fought tooth and nail, and because of that no one had stuck around. When they left it usually sent him into one of his episodes of not-Sasha-ness and cutting. Still, he didn't see anything wrong with what he did, didn't see the problem with making it so difficult. He was super-paranoid about being used without being loved. He believed that the person who would actually truly love him wouldn't lose patience and give up on him, though he did make it extremely difficult not to. He wouldn't even let it slip that he was interested in a relationship, that he was thinking fo something more permanent than a one night stand. He'd still toy with them, and act like there wasn't anything there, but he still hurts when they leave him, when they shake their heads and decide that he's not worth it. He's never been worth much anyway. Maybe a good screw, well.. more than maybe, but that was about it. He was so unbelievably psychologically screwed up, so mentally damaged, he didn't see why anyone would stick around anyway. He didn't want to get his hopes up on those guys... he weeded them out early. That was another reason he wasn't really interested in women. He'd have sex with them sometimes, was even willing to do interesting three ways, but most girls couldn't take his shit, no matter how tough they were. His verdent green eyes scanned over the surrounding faces, looking to see if, perhaps, somebody looked even the slightest bit interested. Anything Else: Nothing that I can think of Player Name: Luna I know I've got a face in me Points out all my mistakes to me You've got a face on the inside too and Your paranoia's probably worse 
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- ACCEPTED. - By MALLOS. August 29, 2009 at 03:00:28 PM
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