Can't make my own decisions or make any with precision
Well maybe you should tie me up
so I don't go where you don't want me
Name: Patrick
Gender: Male
Appearance: Pat’s black hair is long, for a boy at least. The dark brown, almost black hair sits atop his head in a shaggy way. It has that natural “stylised just got out of bed” look. His skin is pale, but there is colour too. Being slightly tanned gives him a watery gold colour. His eyes are a stormy grey, the ring around the iris almost black, and very thick. He has full lips, a shade darker than his face. He is a thin build, little fat on his flesh. His bones show slightly, and it emphasizes his high cheek bones. He has multiple scars on his wrists from self harm. The scars are ragged and uneven, having been made by his fingernails. Because of his BDD, Pat sees his nose as a horrible pointy thing. In all honesty, it’s a cute nose. Pat also has a scar on the left of his stomach, an indented, twisted area that looks like someone stuck their hand partially into his flesh and pushing inward, twisted and turned their fingers around, as if mixing pudding. He also sees this as a massive defect and thus he never takes his clothes of. Usually Patrick wears a baggy white hoody, two or three sizes too big for him. He also wears black skinny jeans and scruffy old skater shoes. A cap is usually worn under the pulled up hood, pulled down low over his eyes.
Defects: He has BDD (body dysmorphic disorder, so he sees imaginary flaws in his body, his face), Spectrophobia (fear of looking in mirrors or seeing ones reflection) and Haptephobia (fear of being touched).
Age: 16
History: At a very young age he was in an orphanage, and being a small and dainty boy many of the older boys picked on him. At the age of 5 he was adopted. The family was dysfunctional, but, as it wasn’t recorded and the family didn’t admit to it, Pat went to this home. There was already 5 older brothers in the family, and as the mother and father were away often, Pat was left in the care of the older boy. They found it fascinating at how small and dainty he was. Being 4+ years older than Pat, he had to do what they said, or he’d be “punished”.
At the age of 7 he finally plucked the courage up to tell the brother to f off. Alas for Pat, his brothers attacked him. With every fist that connected to his body they shouted how ugly he was. With every boot that found his ribs they screamed their hate at him. Through it all Patrick could not take his eyes off his reflection in the wall to wall mirror.
When Pat reached 12 he attacked the youngest brother. Already, signs of BDD and Spectrophobia were present, but his Adoptive parents did not notice. Patrick lashed out one day as the boy made a snide comment, the vegetable knife slashing the older boys cheek. Pat was then beaten, and the two older brothers took him to their room. What happened next is mostly blocked from Pat’s mind, though flashes return. His screams, their laughs, the pain.
After 4 years of abuse and rape, Patrick finally managed to escape. At 16, he came to Shaman, hoping to find a new life.
Personality: Pat’s a quiet boy, with gentle ways and a patient demeanour. But...There’s an edge to his mannerisms, something that is hidden just below the surface. It’s hard to fathom. But i shall tell you what it is. There is a fear there. Of everything and everyone. Because of his past, everything is scary to the boy, everything could hurt him. His repetitive panic attacks cause people to abandon him, making him even more insecure. “Why did they leave me? What did i do?” buzz around his head. “It was my nose. My stupid ugly nose.” He replies to himself. He never means anyone harm, but there have been times, silly times, long ago and only yesterday, when people have held out their hand, tried to touch him. Sometimes he’ll freeze, other times he’ll lash out, batting away the offensive appendage. Other times he’ll break down, screaming and gasping, falling to his knees and clutching his head “Don’t hurt me” sobbed over and over again. Because of his Phobia’s, Pat finds social interaction awkward and difficult. Many a time he has had to leave suddenly, a panic attack creeping up on him.
Sample Post: See next post
Anything Else: ummmmmm, ILY GIA!
Player Name: Demon Pictce