The early morning rays tickled her face when she awoke. Seagulls called above her head, her body shaded by the mouth of the cave, she shut her eyes against the bright rays. They made what ache in her head she already had much much worse and she couldn’t deal with that ontop of being overdue with her second child. She’d been waiting weeks for the pains that would signal the new life to make it’s entrance into the world of lights sounds and bright futures. But so far, it was just hopeful wishing, because it was a month past when she should have had their child, and yet, no sign had shown her that it was approaching. But she had staked out this cave when she had neared her original due date, and so she wasn’t leaving it until she had her child, whether it was now or later, she didn’t care as long as she eventually had her child at her side, then her life would be good.
Some may find her way of thinking about things unnatural, but then again, Constantine was not one for fairytale stories that had happily ever afters, because she knew the truth, she knew that happily ever after was a folktale that would never come true in a realistic life. But she knew it was true because she had watched her mother crumble when her father had left. She had stayed in the islands merely because she had been too far along to leave, and so when Constantine had been born, she shipped her off to another mare and left. Heartbroken and shattered, Constantine doubted she’d ever see the silhouette of her mother again. Sarai had been a different girl, untrusting because of what her own mother had gone through. Her mother’s mother, Jubilee, loved her grandfather, Show Time, and had a hard time showing it because he had chosen ‘the brotherhood’ over her mother, well, he had wanted her to come join them but she had refused to raise her child in a herd setting that he had chosen. Only to be blamed for his death because apparently, he died of a broken heart. But Jubilee had been crushed too, and blamed by so many for his death, she had run off on her own, leaving Sarai in the Islands all alone, and following her mothers footsteps, Sarai left too.
Constantine didn’t want to follow the footsteps of the females in her line, she didn’t want to leave her children to fend for themselves, she hoped that she’d find stability with Eli, she hoped Elanor would find her own happiness, but mainly, she hoped she herself would find happiness, mayhap not love, but happiness. Love was a fickle word that Constantine didn’t necessarily believe in but then again, you could never believe in something that you had never seen in your own life.
The first pangs triggered her mind when she rose from her resting place. A relieved sigh slipped from her lips as she moved deeper into the cave, her sides contracting often, she knew it wouldn’t be long now.
Hours, it seemed passed by the time she stared down at the perlino overo child that was curled into a ball. She was soft, warm, clean and so delicate. Despite being overdue, nothing was wrong with her, at least from what Constantine was able to tell. She meandered slowly to the mouth of the cave, looking out at the clouds that were puffy and white as the sun was setting. Eli needed to get to meet his child. She hoped he’d be proud of the child, she wanted him to have a big role in their child’s life, and there was only one way for that to happen, for her to stay with him no matter what. And so she was going to do that, because not only was it the right thing for her to do, it was the only thing she could think of to do really. She needed her child to be loved by both her parents, and Constantine knew it was the only way.
That was a month ago.
She still hadn’t seen Eli, and It was not a comforting feeling for her. She nudged the shoulder of her perlino and white child, nuzzling the soft fuzz that was surrounding her child’s body. Sýlvia was a precious gift that Constantine didn’t regret. She loved her child more than life itself. She just wondered how the little girl would be without her father if Eli still didn’t show. She huffed as they walked along a small sand dune. They had been moved to the Desert, after the Paradise had yet again switched hands of owners and well, Anubis was Eli’s brother, so it wasn’t too bad, she figured. There was another stallion living there, Evolutional. And in reality, Constantine didn’t mind, it wasn’t much of a difference to her where they lived. But Eli was missing, and she didn’t know if he was choosing to be away from the Desert, away from her and their child. The hurt was set in to a point in which she felt listless at times, but she hid it for the sake of her child.
She didn’t want Sýlvia to suffer from her mother’s depression, and Constantine asked her some times how she felt without daddy around, but she never got a clear answer from the girl. Constantine found her child to be different than herself in a few ways, but she didn’t want Sýlvia to inherit her mother’s fear of love. She didn’t want Sýlvia growing up in a broken home and well, she just hoped that this wouldn’t be the way she grew up. Constantine reached her head down, lipping at the soft mane that sprouted from her child’s head, just enjoying the warm spring breeze that reached across the desert.
constantine ╰☆╮
{love...so o v e r r a t e d}