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This was all pretty much utter bullshit.
What kind of coward slunk around in fear, anyway? What real wolf was so paranoid, so dreadfully concerned for his own hide that he had avoided contact with anyone for over a year? Apparently Vladya, because the white dragga hadn’t left the mountains since coming to this god-forsaken land in order to avoid running into his old Alpha. Goddam wimp. All of Vlad’s ferocious energy? Wasted on running. His pointless aggression? Reserved for prey. The last time he’d fought something? That would have been last week, when a blizzard almost buried him alive. He’d fought hypothermia. At least the arctic demon had snapped out of his shameful depression long enough to rethink suicide—snow born or not, Vladya preferred his lungs un-crushed by tons of ice.
He had thought about ending his miserable existence by leaping off a cliff . . . but like the countless times he’d planned it before, the broken warrior refused. Those times Vlad had chosen to keep suffering. In a perverse way, the bleached beast thought that he deserved a slow, painful death over an easy escape as a way to repent for his desertion. He’d grown up as a victim of the tundra, its laws and harsh realities carved into his very soul like battle scars. Kershov ensured that his boys knew where their loyalties lay; the ruthless gangleader had ripped their bodies and spilt their blood to make them remember that the gang was their home, the gang was their life, and all they had was each other, and their bond was sacred, and any cur that ever dared betray that bond was no better than a carcass—and a carcass was their fate should they ever try.
So yeah, Vlad struggled through a few issues for a long, long time. He lived in constant terror that Kershov would send his new pack after him and drag his sorry cadaver back to Abendrot for further punishment. He wrestled with rage—at himself, at his old boss—for cowering and hiding when he should have been out brawling and screwing and murdering any varg that foolishly crossed his path. The furious blue flame in Vladya’s chest was flickering, always burning, but it was a weak and sick shadow of its former blaze.
He needed a change. Seriously. It couldn’t go on like this.
That’s why, rather than contemplating death again by the precipice of a cliff again like a dumbass, Vladya was travelling down the blizzard-battered mountains to—surprise—find a pack. He still had absolutely NO desire to see Kershov—fuck that. Vlad preferred not to die, thanks. A few bullshit rumors had reached his ears about Ker becoming more welcoming, less savage; evidently, some of Abendrot’s top-ranked soldiers were female. Since when had Kershov ever considered leading a band of she-wolves?! They must have been some pretty tough bitches, to deal with the black-eyed monster’s style of leadership . . . whatever. Vlad wasn’t going to visit them. He would never even scent Abendrot’s borders if he had his own way.
That was one pack knocked off the list . . . but where else could the frosted phantom go?
Spring grounds was out, obviously. Vladya liked pretty flowers and all, but the pack had a reputation of being far too cheerful for his tastes. He would most likely tear off a few tails before being driven away by a horde of smiling optimists. The ivory warrior passed up Cold Summers and Saw Tooth simply because he hadn’t psyched himself up enough to grow a pair and wait by their territory walls. Every second Vlad spent traversing this land, out of his element, exposed, vulnerable, he felt as if someone were peeling off his skin. His pace never dropped below a staccato trot; every muscle clenched in suspicious tension; a wild light glared from darting pyrite eyes, as though by looking everywhere he could Vladya might suddenly reveal a crouching enemy. At one point, the alabaster gangster considered pelting back to the mountain—
But he didn’t. He was done with that crap. Who better to shield him from Kershov’s wrath than another pack, right?
. . . Right?
“Shit,” the bone-colored bandit muttered to himself. It was a statement of his life so far, and every humiliating decision he’d made. Vladya made the stubborn resolution to walk right up to the border of the next pack he saw and demand entry—no matter what. Well . . . as long as that pack wasn’t Abendrot: in that case, back to the mountains he’d run. Grim, determined, the colorless dragon broke into a ground-eating lope, pale form gleaming like a ghost in the cool evening light. Soon his sensitive nares caught the signature musk of Andere Seite. A distinctly feminine perfume drenched the air possessively. A female Monarch. Great. Just the change of scenery Vladya needed.
Tongue lolling from his maw and muscles writhing nervously under a scar criss-crossed coat, Vlad halted just outside the kingdom line. He dare not howl, in case his song carried too far into unwelcome ears. Instead the rugged bastard stood: columns straight, tail down, ready for anything.
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