He was telling her of his favorite place, ever. A place he had taken as a yearling – she couldn’t imagine. “A yearling?” she gasped, eyes wide. When she was a yearling, she was still frolicking through her woodland home with friends, laughing and free of responsibility. He either must have been very foolish and lucky, or very mature for his age. Atlantis, though, it sounded beautiful. She did not mind the grayscale of Tinuvel, and found it beautiful and refreshing in its own way. It was like a clean slate. Would it be her clean slate in the future? She did not know. “I’m sure one day you can return, without driving away a herd,” she murmured. He really was a kind-hearted stallion, it seemed, thinking of others before himself. Despite her occasional feelings of awkwardness when she asked questions about his life, she did like talking to him. He made her feel welcomed, and she liked that. She wondered what he would think if he knew why she shied away from Wonka, why she had come to the islands. “They all sound lovely,” she murmured. In her head, she thought that she would like Luthien more than Salem, and she felt that she would like Atlantis best of all. Tarrant’s vivid, heartfelt description of the island almost made her feel a tug on her heartstrings. She resisted, though, asking of Reisis. Despite the past she kept close to her heart, she found herself too curious about the other inhabitants. It didn’t seem fair for her to ask but not be willing to answer similar questions yet. Then he was telling her to pry all she wanted, and she felt abashed. She had to remember that not everyone was like her. Not everyone was afraid to face the past. But then he touched her, and it made her skin shiver. He’d broken the touch barrier that she herself had been afraid to cross, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Pulse looked to the spot where his nose had touched and then back to him. His smile warmed her, though. It was just a friendly touch, nothing more. She couldn’t get knocked up, could not deal with that yet, not until she dealt with her demons. “I’m trying to do that as well,” she admitted, her eyes looking far away. “That’s why I’m here, in the islands. I want…I want to be happy in life.” But she was scared; she felt like if she was happy and had more children and fell in love and had a family that it would be a betrayal to her lost one. Maybe it wasn’t, but she found herself reluctant to anyway. This was supposed to be a start over, but it was hard, really, to start completely over, when she still thought so much of her first child. Pulse tucked her nose to her chest, hiding her face from the smiling, teasing stallion. She didn’t want him to see the sadness in her eyes. “I’m glad I met you, too,” she said, a small smile making its way on her face. She was glad to meet the stallion, that was true, and she was also glad to be able to call him friend now. “Tarrant…I should go. I don’t…I haven’t decided where to live yet, and you’ve given me a lot to think about. To look at the good instead of the bad, I mean,” she said, finally returning his gentle touch. She really did feel like now would be a good time to go, head back to the crossing before she decided that she would just stay here forever. “I’ll visit again, though, I think.” P U L S E [let me tell you why i would die for you] |