I do not understand. None of it makes sense. I am not used to being pulled, being chained to someone or something else. I am a soul lost amongst the trees. I am a shadow that no one notices. I am the nothing, the void between earth and sky. I am not supposed to be pulled like this and I cannot control it. I stand in confusion on the other side of the tree. I wonder much as my mind twists and turns trying to figure it all out. My mind does not think in words, no, it is more abstract than that. I cannot explain it and it is a bit more difficult to understand what is happening to me. I am not sure if I like it.

I have been found out though. I hear the soft crunch of earth as the girl comes around the tree. I see her face look at mine and she is horrified. I am an ugly thing. My face is not one a female looks for when looking for companionship, this I know at least. At least I think. My eye is crusted over, the orb itself damaged beyond repair and my lids have sealed shut together. Gashes are all about that general area of my blackened face. They are scarred over now, though they are not exactly healthy looking. Some of them oozed with various liquids that the body decided to excrete. And she dislikes it. I find this sinking feeling inside of me. A feel so strong and so compelling because I knew my face displeased her. I didn't want that. She doesn't need the torture of looking at me. I have never felt this way before. Usually I don't care. It doesn't matter if someone else sees my ugly face glued to my tall frame. But it matters now. No, I can't displease her again with my face. My one golden eye widens in a bit of horror myself after such displeasure. My silver mouth frowns as my form recoils into itself. My black ears dash to touch my skull and I hate that she had to look at me and react in such horror to my face.

I stumble back again. I lose focus of my paws as they desperately attempt to go back, around the tree again so she doesn't have to look at me. My eye doesn't dare look into hers as I try to scramble to the other side of the tree, without looking where I was going. I think I heard her say something but I am not entirely sure at this point. All I feel is the thick roots that I almost trip on. I have no idea how large the tree is. I am just so panicked at making this girl unhappy. I am so unfocused. I feel this huge weight on my heart and yet I am still pulled to her. So pulled that I had stumbled back until I walked all about the tree. I hadn't realized that I walked all the way around. I just...I just wanted to hide my face from her. I didn't want to see that look on her face again. That look. It was because of my face, wasn't it? Well, I end up bumping into something with my rump. I don't know what I hit. It may be the girl. It may be the tree. But I panic again and rush forward, stopping before I dare see her again. My breathing is out of control at this point. I don't know what to do. I am clueless, confused, pulled, suddenly hate myself because someone had to look at me. What the hell was going on? I stood again, away from the girl on the other side but not too far away. I am back to where we started. I am standing with my tail between my legs, starting to hyperventilate, with a look of terror for making a girl I don't know upset...well I think she is upset. Her face...it seemed...upset maybe...I don't even know. Maybe she wasn't but Vidar didn't see it that way. He felt like he would never be good enough for her...and he had never even considered being good enough for anyone before. He never cared. But now...things have changed.
Three Years - Loved by None - Following Everchime