“I won’t put up with you acting as though you call the shots Gandy”

The words rattle round her brain as she stands quietly at the edge of the herd, blue eyes watching over them all carefully. Since her trip to the bay and running into Impazienza upon her return, she has not spoken with anyone but her son, who now sleeps not far away from where she stands. Her days have been spent patrolling the fringes of the herd, making sure no one else can be taken away be it by predator, trade, steal or just a will to abandon them. Nerves flutter around her belly constantly, putting her off food entirely. When she forces herself to graze, it is a merely a necessity to keep herself and Joukahainen strong. She does not enjoy it and barely keeps her head down for fear of missing an important sound that might warn of imminent danger.

“We’re a team”

She doesn’t feel like a team. She doesn’t feel like she is well informed. She is floundering silently and can’t shake to feeling of impending doom or the gnaw of guilt. Every now and then anger and confusion flares up again when she spots the perlino who set off the chain of events that led to all the trouble. She wonders again what is so special about her that Lyden would risk everything for her but then the guilt returns. Is that even what it was all about?

Is it a coincidence that right their disagreement about Caesisus on the beach, Lyden went and traded Zhenya, Fantazer and Sophia for her? Would he have done so if he was not angry with Jörmungandr? Perhaps this is some sick way of showing her that he still ran the show; that if she didn’t act like they were a team, he wouldn’t either. Is that why he didn’t even bother to inform her of the decision let alone ask her opinion. Would he really be so cruel to do that to Fantazer just to get back at her? She doesn’t think so but the feeling still nags like a finger poking an open wound.

”Never forget that”.

Her eyes linger on Lyden’s pale form and she can take it no longer, she has to know. A part of her urges her back as she moves towards him but it is no good for them or the herd to put it off. ”Zhenya and Fantazer?” she asks quietly as she draws up, not meeting his eye ”Are they my punishment?” She turns her head away, looking off it the direction of the bay as she waits for an anwser, strange thoughts swirling around her mind.