He wasn't sure what he was suppost to do in response to the expressions flittering across her face, so he did nothing. His features were as smooth as ever as he waited for her to say something. He did not wish to speak more on what he had said to her. It was enough that he had said it at all, in his opinion. He might not lie to her, but he also did not need to divulge to her such personal information, no matter that this part had pertained to her. Covet wasn't displeased by her final expression over the matter, but then he did not know if he cared at all to how she felt over the confession. She couldn't change what was, and he did not expect much of anything from her. Maybe disdain, perhaps some contempt. Disgust? None of it would affect him now. He had removed himself from the problem long ago, because she hadn't wanted him around anyway. He had his reasons and he had stuck to them. She made her choices, and he had made his own.

Covet was unmoved by the words she was speaking, because he knew they were a lie at the core. The first part was probably correct, to a point. Covet did not pretend he was absolved of anything he had done with Malina or before and after her. He did not think he was the only one that had to deal with it, either. Then again, he would have rather had the chance to deal with it on a full scale rather than the teasing way she had thrown it in his face. Children that he could never know. He had dealt with that part of it the best way that he knew how; keeping the risk at a low by not being present to mis-step. Covet was silent during her self rightous rant, but he did not believe any of it. He had not made the turning point choices, and he would not let her keep her false words. She wanted to pretend it hadn't gone down exactly as it did, fine. But that did not stop the truth from playing over constantly within his mind, from causing turmoils that he never wished to have to face.

He had to face a number of things not within his contorl, and he could only deal with it as it came. "What makes you think I feel absolved? I dealt with what you gave me and the problems I faced because of that. How many choices did you give me? My control was only so good in those days, and I knew enough to admit it." He took a breath, exhaled. "You do not have the right to tell me what I did wrong. You told me I would never see our children. Staying would have only caused more risks. What if I had killed one of my own blood, not knowing that it was? I could not abide that idea. In a bloodlust I do not stop to smell the roses. You did not let me know my children, and I would not stay with the cloud of 'what if I killed one?' hanging over my head." He did not like this conversation, but he remembers what happened and she was not going to just stand there and blame it all on him, because he had done what he thought was best for his offspring's survival.

The last time, well.. that hadn't been much better, had it? He could admit to that as well, though. Covet could confess his faults. Could she? He somehow doubts it. She pretended to be an angel, after all. "Yes, I returned because it bugged me to not know, but you didn't budge on it. Fathom said she lost hers. Same plight. Thing is, I would have done whatever I could to protect them back then, and no one gave me a chance. Do not blame me for leaving under that truth. I'm not saying you know how to be fair or that I deserved that, but it wasn't. Stand by your choices, but don't blame me for giving up on what I don't even know." And frankly, he doesn't give much of a damn for the others things could have been different for. She had chosen the direction of their children, as did Fathom with hers. It was said and done before he was able to have any say in the matter, so who else was he to give a damn for? What differences would him being around have made?

Her other words made him choke back a bitter laugh. "This time? Make an effort this time? What makes you think I wouldn't have wanted to the first time? You hid them from me, and you want to blame me for not making an effort to what, exactly? I made the only effort I could. I made the effort to not risk their lives with my problems. I should be pissed at you for never letting me know them, but I get it. I am what I am. But I still would have tried in whatever way I could. Just because you do not know that I feel strongly for family doesn't mean I don't." She hadn't known enough about him, and he had barely known anything of her. Hormones would be hormones, but Covet was not the creature to ditch if he'd had a chance. There was truth in the fact that he hadn't really wanted children back then, was in no way ready for that kind of responsiblity, but he would have held to family anyway. He would have given it his best try.

As for the other part? He smiled, and it was a cold look. "I didn't dismiss you because I couldn't handle myself. I dismissed you because you took that chance from me. I don't know how to hate you, but I don't need to like you, either. I'm on the fence on the idea of forgiving, too." Did he need say more? He understood why she had done what she did, sure. There had been no trust, no knowing what he might do in the situation. Yet that does not really soothe the fact that she had ripped away something from him that mattered, either. It doesn't make it better, it only gives him reason not to lash out more than he does. He can see the sense in what she had done, but it doesn't ease the ache. Covet could do more now, even without knowing if the next wolf to cross his path was related to him. He had enough control that he could search out a scent for any hint of blood he knew, but that control had been hard won after years of struggling.

She did not know who knew, hadn't been near the assassins in years. Well. At least she cared enough to keep tabs on her children, he supposed. Covet doesn't know what any of this means now, because after all this time, there really wasn't much he could to for a daughter who strayed. If she had his issue, then that was bad enough. It was too late to teach her any control or ways around it, he felt almost sure of it. That daughter would be older than he was when he'd helped create her, after all. Set in her ways, Covet wouldn't doubt. What could he do but perhaps try to protect her now? But what of this was he to tell Malina? Finally, he gets to hear the name of his daughter, and he feels an emotional turmoil from just that alone, but he pulls himself together. "I will help protect her if I can, but there is not much more I can do. She doesn't know me, she won't listen to me. To know who I am will probably only make her hate me. She probably thinks I abandoned her, and since my mother did that to me.." Did he have to continue? He knew.

Malina was asking questions now, and Covet gave her a droll look. "I do often kill before feeding, so that should be an answer. As for decaying dead and cold blood? No, doesn't work like that. Prey doesn't suffice. I can feed without killing, but once I rip into a wolf they usually get pissy about it. And I like the violence of it. It drags me in, and there's not much left afterwards. I let go because it feels good, and I have no reason not to." It was honest, as he was with her about the mechanics of such things all along. A faint smile curls over his maw. "With the right reasons, I might have learned to control it all long before now. But I already told you that I tried to find ways around it before everything fell apart. Back when I thought finding a way around it might please you." It felt like forever ago now, and when he had left he got lost in it all; the killing and violence and need. He gave in to all the cravings and let himself fall further rather than try to fix it. At least for awhile.

_____________________________________________________
[ male ] [ eleven ] [ loner ] [ imprinted to ava ] [ cobryn x jaidah ]