Falls

I know she is there, even before her weak voice has chance to shatter the silence.

Her milky coat is like a beacon in the sunshine, throwing the light like an angelic aura around her slender frame. I meet with her limpid eyes, eyes that are rimmed with emotion, and for a moment I do not breathe. For so long now the very memory of her has consumed me, her image seared into the backs of my eyelids so that even in my dreams I would see her. Now, filled with disbelief and void of any movement, I have no need for memories or imaginings. I blink, unaware that my eyes are now wet, and the rest of my body falls out of its trance. My slim legs push me towards her pale face and I begin to weep as I reach out to touch her nose.

”I..” I stammer, my throat and mind both strangled by her presence. ”Yo-you were gone and, I cou-I couldn’t find you!” blabbering loudly now, I move closer and try to bury my face into her shoulder. My body shakes violently as months’ worth of tension begin to unravel.

I make no attempt to stifle my sobs which drown the noises of the world, and although it is my mother’s presence which has brought this relief, it is mainly for myself that I cry. The night I found myself alone I should have been scared, terrified even, but naivety and Rodrigo kept reality at a safe distance. I didn’t think too much of my missing mother, certain that I would find her once the fun of being on my own had worn off, but as the days passed and the weather got colder, reality broke free from its cage and kicked me hard in the guts. It wasn’t about fun anymore, it was about survival and the very real risk of dying, alone and unknown, was as bitter as the snow that had begun to fall.

All that is gone now as I cry into my mother’s side.

I am no longer the would-be mare that prayed every night the reaper wouldn’t find her; I am no longer the would-be mare that was too scared to cry in case she didn’t stop. As the tears fall freely with the weight of the world, I am finally just filly, free to feel my emotions from the comfort of my mother’s protection.

thirteen months }{ smoky black based grey }{ homeless
FALLO X CAESISUS